Spyro the Dragon Nazza Style
by Nazza
Summary: Spyro visits Autumn Plains and causes a commotion. Someone will die. Or will they? The messagething in Chapter 11 was supposed to be ASCII but screwed it up.
1. Level 1: Glimmer

Spyro meets Nazza  
  
  
  
N.B. Spyro the Dragon and associated characters belong to *Sony*, Universal Studios in particular/ Nazza is a creation from the mind of Nazza/  
  
[CHAPTER 1: GLIMMER]  
  
  
  
Spyro the Dragon was relaxing in Glimmer, lying on the green grass watching the marsupials busily working, digging for gems, when a blue wolf leapt out of a portal that ran between Glimmer and Summer Forest.  
  
'That's strange,' Spyro said to himself.  
  
The blue wolf ran over to Spyro. 'You've got to help,' the blue wolf said in between gasps.  
  
'What's wrong?' asked Spyro.  
  
'This little guy was chasing me,' said the blue wolf, who was still puffed out. 'He was riding on this giant green dinosaur-like thing, and a light blue monster with a club was running behind him.'  
  
Spyro gasped.  
  
'You know this guy?' asked the blue wolf.  
  
'He's Ripto!' said Spyro. 'How did he return?'  
  
'I'm not sure,' said the blue wolf. 'I'm Nazza, by the way.'  
  
'Hi Nazza,' said Spyro. 'I'm Spyro the Dragon.'  
  
'Where's Sparx?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Sparx is somewhere in Summer Forest. How do you know Sparx?'  
  
Before Nazza could answer Ripto and his henchmen Gulp and Crush appeared out of the portal.  
  
'Ripto!' shouted Spyro. He ran up to the little guy, who was sitting on top of the massive Gulp.  
  
Nazza ran up and stood beside Spyro.  
  
'Oh, *you're* here,' said Ripto. 'Never mind, I am stronger than before, and I can defeat you!'  
  
'Yeah, sure,' said Spyro. 'How come you've never defeated me before?'  
  
Ripto was silent.  
  
'Ha!' said Nazza.  
  
'Shut up, blue wolf!' shouted Ripto.  
  
'What are you doing back?' asked Spyro.  
  
'It's a long story.' started Ripto.  
  
'I don't have time for long stories,' said Spyro. 'Just tell me what you're doing here.'  
  
'Well, once I recovered from when you.fluked and beat me -'  
  
'And Gulp,' said Spyro, 'and Crush.'  
  
'Well, once I recovered I decided to come back and claim what is rightfully my land.'  
  
'This isn't your land!' said Spyro. 'You don't own Avalar!'  
  
'And I found this blue wolf wandering around Winter Tundra,' said Ripto, ignoring what Spyro had said, 'and since he was in my castle-grounds, I started chasing him.'  
  
'He chased me all through Autumn Plains, then to Summer Forest, then to here!' said Nazza.  
  
Spyro shot flames at Ripto, and narrowly missed him. 'Get out of here, Ripto!' said Spyro.  
  
'I will return to my castle then,' said Ripto. 'To get to Crush's Dungeon, Gulp's Lookout or my castle, you will need to find the keys.'  
  
'How many are there?' asked Nazza.  
  
'I don't know,' said Ripto. 'I didn't count them. There are four or five in each world.'  
  
'Hmm,' said Spyro, as Ripto and his henchmen left Glimmer. 'That means.'  
  
'We have to find four or five keys in each world,' said Nazza.  
  
'No,' said Spyro. 'There are roughly twenty-five worlds, including the speedways and Summer Forest, Autumn Plains and Winter Tundra, which means.'  
  
'There are a lot of keys?' guessed Nazza.  
  
'There are more than a hundred keys that we have to find!' said Spyro.  
  
'I think we'd better start looking for the keys in Glimmer,' said Nazza.  
  
'What about Sparx?' asked Spyro.  
  
'We can find him later,' said Nazza. 'We've got to find a lot of keys, you know.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and Nazza started walking around. 'There's a lot of gems,' said Nazza.  
  
'Yeah,' said Spyro. 'Four-hundred in every world.'  
  
'We'll need to do some research on these keys,' said Nazza.  
  
'Last time I fought against Ripto,' said Spyro, 'I needed to find talismans and orbs. I had a magic journal to help me, and I stuck the orbs and talismans and gems in it.'  
  
'You're point is.?'  
  
'Maybe there's a magic journal somewhere that will help us,' said Spyro.  
  
'Maybe,' said Nazza.  
  
Suddenly there was a flash, and a key landed in front of Spyro. 'Wow!' said Spyro.  
  
'I think Ripto just put out all the keys,' said Nazza.  
  
Spyro picked up the key and put it in his imaginary backpack. 'Now to find the other keys,' said Spyro.  
  
Spyro and Nazza walked around outside the caves that the marsupials mined at, but couldn't see any keys. They asked all the marsupials, but they didn't know anything.  
  
'Let's go into the mining caves,' said Nazza.  
  
'Okay,' said Spyro.  
  
They walked into the cave, and looked around. There were a few of the overgrown mice hopping about, mining for gems, and there was what seemed to be a hole that was perfectly rectangular. It divided one half of the room from the other.  
  
'How are we going to get across?' wondered Nazza.  
  
'Ah, Spyro, I see you've found a friend!' said Moneybags very loudly.  
  
'Uh-oh,' said Spyro. 'Now there'll be trouble.'  
  
The two walked over to Moneybags. The fat bear was holding a bag full of gems, as usual. 'Do you want to cross from this side of the cave to the other?' Moneybags inquired.  
  
'Not really,' said Spyro.  
  
'I'm glad you want to, but I'm afraid I can't make this bridge appear unless I have gems,' said Moneybags.  
  
'How much,' Spyro said monotonously.  
  
'Just one-hundred gems,' said Moneybags. He shook the bag of gems, then said, 'Not everything is free, Spyro.'  
  
'Great,' said Spyro as the two walked away. 'Now we have to find one- hundred gems. Okay, you find fifty and I'll find fifty. Then we'll go back to Moneybags.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Nazza and Spyro met up inside the cave once they had found enough gems.  
  
'You got fifty?' asked Spyro.  
  
'I accidentally got a hundred,' said Nazza.  
  
'Good,' said Spyro. 'I got fifty.'  
  
They walked up to Moneybags. 'So, you have enough gems?'  
  
'Yes,' sighed Spyro in a bored sort of voice. 'Here you go.'  
  
Moneybags poured the gems into the bag. 'Thank you, Spyro. And -'  
  
'I'm Nazza,' said the blue wolf.  
  
'Thank you, Nazza,' said Moneybags. He walked over to a switch that was attached to a pole that came out of the ground. He flicked the switch and a bridge came out from a hole on the other side.  
  
'Thanks, Moneybags,' Spyro said, not really meaning it.  
  
'Oh, and Spyro? I found this key, but I don't need it,' said Moneybags. 'It's not worth any gems, is it?'  
  
'No,' said Spyro slowly. 'It's not worth anything.'  
  
'You can have it then,' said Moneybags. He handed Spyro the key.  
  
The two walked over the bridge to the other side. There was a doorway that went through a nice crystal-coloured corridor. At the end of the corridor was a round room with several windows that didn't have any glass, one of the marsupial mouses, and a portal back to Summer Forest.  
  
'Hello, Spyro,' said the marsupial. 'Thanks a lot, Spyro.'  
  
'What for?' asked Spyro.  
  
'For shutting Moneybags up!' said the marsupial.  
  
'Huh?' said Nazza.  
  
'He's been annoying us since Ripto had left,' said the mouse. ' "Can you spare a few gems?", "Can I have some gems?", "Give me some gems or I'll kill you!" It was getting really annoying. Now Moneybags is happy with the hundred gems you gave him, there won't be anymore nagging, at least for a while. I hope.'  
  
'Um, would you have noticed any keys lying around?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Yeah,' said the mouse. 'I found one. You could have it for shutting Moneybags up, but.'  
  
'But what?' asked Spyro.  
  
'We still have some problems,' said the mouse. 'There are these little lights that shine, and they power the giant light, which keeps the bad guys away. The little lights recently went out, and since then we've had to fight away countless numbers of those weird little dinosaur things that tease you behind your back then pretend they didn't.'  
  
'How do we light the lights?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Well,' said the mouse, 'there's this strange "powerup" and when you walk between the two pyramids it gives you the ability to fly. However, you need someone to stand on this pad to get the powerup to work.  
  
'Secondly, no one has a flame strong enough to light these lights. Except for you, Spyro.'  
  
'So you want me to fly around and light all of these lights so that the giant "gem-light" keeps the annoying dinosaurs away?' said Spyro.  
  
'Yeah,' said the mouse.  
  
'Will I get the key if I do it?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Sure,' said the mouse.  
  
'Okay then,' said Spyro. 'Nazza, let's go!'  
  
The two climbed out using one of the glass-less windows to find a few "warrior-marsupials" fighting against the annoying dinosaurs, and the dinosaurs with giant hammers. They walked around on the grass for a while, watching the fights, then found the powerup.  
  
'Okay,' said Spyro, 'you stand on the pad while I use the powerup.'  
  
'Okay,' said Nazza. He stood on the pad, and in between the two pyramids appeared funny-looking sparkly stars. Spyro walked through, and his wings were lengthened, and he started flying.  
  
Nazza watched as Spyro flew around, spitting fire at the mini-gem-lights, and one by one, they were lit. Spyro spat fire at the last one, and the light from them all shone up towards the gem-light, and suddenly the whole place was a lot brighter. All the dinosaurs ran away scared.  
  
Nazza and Spyro went back into the building, and talked to the mouse. 'Thanks, Spyro,' said the mouse. 'And thanks, Nazza.'  
  
'Wow,' said Nazza. 'Now everyone knows my name!'  
  
'Here's the key,' said the mouse, handing Spyro one of the keys. 'And I found this, too,' continued the marsupial. 'It's a magical book of some sort.'  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next chapter: =Spyro (and Nazza)'s Journal=  
  
Did You Know? Spyro 2: Gateway to Glimmer is also known as Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage 


	2. Spyro and Nazza's Journal

Spyro meets Nazza  
  
  
  
N.B. Spyro the Dragon and associated characters belong to *Sony*, Universal Studios in particular/ Nazza is a creation from the mind of Nazza/ Oh boy a big long boring chapter/If you don't want to read the journal you can skip/  
  
[CHAPTER 2: SPYRO AND NAZZA'S JOURNAL]  
  
  
  
'A magical book?' said Nazza.  
  
'Yes,' said the mouse. 'It won't open though.'  
  
'Here, give it to me,' said Spyro. He grabbed the book and opened it easily.  
  
'Wow,' said the mouse. 'I wasn't able to open the book!'  
  
Spyro closed it and handed it to Nazza. 'It's a special journal,' said Spyro. 'I'm the only one who can open it.'  
  
The mouse pointed to Nazza, who was flipping through the pages.  
  
'Uh, um, Nazza can also open it,' said Spyro. 'Because.I gave him the special key to open it.'  
  
'You did?' said Nazza, looking up from the book. Spyro death-stared him. 'Yes, you did.'  
  
'We'll be on our way back to Summer Forest now,' said Spyro.  
  
'Thanks again, Spyro,' said the mouse. 'And Nazza.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
====Spyro and Nazza's Journal===  
  
[PAGE 1]  
  
Total Gems Collected: 150  
  
Total Keys: 3  
  
==Summer Forest  
  
==Autumn Plains  
  
==Winter Tundra  
  
[PAGE 2]  
  
=Summer Forest=  
  
Gems: 0  
  
Keys: 0/4  
  
--Glimmer  
  
--Idol Springs  
  
--Colossus  
  
--Hurricos  
  
--Sunny Beach  
  
--Aquaria Towers  
  
--Ocean Speedway  
  
--Crush's Dungeon  
  
[PAGE 3]  
  
=Glimmer=  
  
Gems: 150  
  
Keys: 3/4  
  
(1) Moneybags  
  
(2) In The Grass  
  
(3) Restoring Gem-Light  
  
(4) ------  
  
[PAGE 4]  
  
=Idol Springs=  
  
[PAGE 5]  
  
=Colossus=  
  
[PAGE 6]  
  
=Hurricos=  
  
[PAGE 7]  
  
=Sunny Beach=  
  
[PAGE 8]  
  
=Aquaria Towers=  
  
[PAGE 9]  
  
=Ocean Speedway=  
  
Gems: 0/0  
  
Keys: 0/5  
  
[PAGE 10]  
  
=Crush's Dungeon=  
  
Gems: 0/0  
  
Keys: 0/0  
  
Crush Defeated: No  
  
[PAGE 11]  
  
=Autumn Plains=  
  
Gems: 0  
  
Keys: 0/4  
  
--Skelos Badlands  
  
--Crystal Glacier  
  
--Breeze Harbour  
  
--Zephyr  
  
--Scorch  
  
--Fracture Hills  
  
--Magma Cone  
  
--Shady Oasis  
  
--Metro Speedway  
  
--Icy Speedway  
  
--Gulp's Lookout  
  
[PAGE 12]  
  
=Skelos Badlands=  
  
Gems: 0  
  
Keys: 0/4  
  
[PAGE 13]  
  
=Crystal Glacier=  
  
[PAGE 14]  
  
=Breeze Harbour=  
  
[PAGE 15]  
  
=Zephyr=  
  
Gems: 0  
  
Keys: 0/5  
  
[PAGE 16]  
  
=Scorch=  
  
Gems: 0  
  
Keys: 0/4  
  
[PAGE 17]  
  
=Fracture Hills=  
  
[PAGE 18]  
  
=Magma Cone=  
  
[PAGE 19]  
  
=Shady Oasis=  
  
[PAGE 20]  
  
=Metro Speedway=  
  
Gems: 0/0  
  
Keys: 0/5  
  
[PAGE 21]  
  
=Icy Speedway=  
  
Gems 0/0  
  
Keys: 0/5  
  
[PAGE 22]  
  
=Gulp's Lookout=  
  
Gems: 0/0  
  
Keys: 0/0  
  
Gulp Defeated: No  
  
[PAGE 23]  
  
=Winter Tundra=  
  
Gems: 0  
  
Keys: 0/4  
  
--Mystic Marsh  
  
--Cloud Temples  
  
--Robotica Farms  
  
--Metropolis  
  
--Canyon Speedway  
  
--Ripto's Arena  
  
[PAGE 24]  
  
=Mystic Marsh=  
  
Gems: 0  
  
Keys: 0/4  
  
[PAGE 25]  
  
=Cloud Temples=  
  
[PAGE 26]  
  
=Robotica Farms=  
  
[PAGE 27]  
  
=Metropolis=  
  
Gems: 0  
  
Keys: 0/5  
  
[PAGE 28]  
  
=Canyon Speedway=  
  
Gems: 0/0  
  
Keys: 0/5  
  
[PAGE 29]  
  
=Ripto's Arena=  
  
Gems: 0/0  
  
Keys: 0/0  
  
Ripto Defeated 1: No  
  
Ripto Defeated 2: No  
  
Ripto Defeated 3: No  
  
[PAGE 30]  
  
Gems Amount: 150/14000  
  
Keys Amount: 3/102  
  
Crush Defeated: No  
  
Gulp Defeated: No  
  
Ripto Defeated: No  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next Chapter: =Summer Forest= Spyro and Nazza meet Hunter, Elora and Moneybags (again). And the professor as well. (Yay!) Shut up. (Okay.)  
  
Did You Know? Hunter, Elora, Moneybags and the Professor made their debut in Spyro 2 (I'm not sure about Moneybags though.) 


	3. Level 2: Summer Forest

Spyro meets Nazza  
  
  
  
N.B. Spyro the Dragon and associated characters belong to *Sony*, Universal Studios in particular/ Nazza is a creation from the mind of Nazza/  
  
[CHAPTER 3: SUMMER FOREST]  
  
  
  
Spyro the Dragon and Nazza the Blue Wolf left Glimmer, and arrived in Summer Forest.  
  
Nazza looked around. There was a river that ran through, and lots of grass and trees everywhere. This was only a small section of Summer Forest, as there was a castle-like building that divided this part of Summer Forest from the rest.  
  
Nazza and Spyro walked over to this stone building, and found that a bridge that crossed from one side to the other had fallen apart.  
  
'How do we get across?' asked Nazza as they walked up as far as they could go without falling. He looked down. There was grass down below, but it was a long way down. There was a stream that ran through as well, which made Nazza wonder whether it was the same stream that he saw back when they came out of Glimmer.  
  
'We jump,' said Spyro. He jumped and glided to the other side.  
  
Nazza took a deep breath and leapt across to the other side.  
  
They walked out to find a place covered in grass. To the left and ahead of them was a big clear lake, and beside it Moneybags was standing.  
  
Spyro spotted Moneybags and turned right, but they didn't escape from Moneybags. 'Ah, Spyro!'  
  
Spyro and Nazza turned and walked over to Moneybags. 'We meet again, Spyro,' said Moneybags.  
  
'Don't forget about me!' said Nazza.  
  
'Oh, hello to you too,' said Moneybags. 'Now Spyro, right now Idol Springs, Colossus and a few other worlds are available to you. But, to get to the other worlds, and to collect the keys, you need to swim underwater.'  
  
'How much,' said Spyro.  
  
'How come he needs to swim?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Well, I can teach you both to swim underwater, because there is a tunnel into the insides of the Summer Forest castle in this here lake,' said Moneybags. 'You can't get all the keys if you can't get to all the worlds.'  
  
'How much,' Spyro repeated.  
  
'Just five-hundred gems for the both of you,' Moneybags stated.  
  
'We have fifty gems right now,' said Spyro. 'You have one hundred from the bridge.'  
  
'Well,' said Moneybags, 'when you have enough gems, come and see me.'  
  
'We will,' said Spyro as the two walked off. Then he mumbled, 'Next year.'  
  
'Who are we going to talk to?' asked Nazza as they walked around Summer Forest.  
  
'I want to find Sparx,' said Spyro. 'But I'll take to Hunter and Elora if I see them.'  
  
'There's Elora,' said Nazza, pointing to her. She looked like a satyr, except not as tall.  
  
Spyro and Nazza walked over to Elora. 'Hey Spyro,' said Elora. 'Who's this?'  
  
'He's Nazza,' said Spyro. 'He's helping me out. We need to find these keys.'  
  
'Yeah,' said Nazza. 'Except for Glimmer we only found three and we need four.'  
  
'That's because you need to get all the gems for the last key,' said Elora.  
  
'I'll go get the rest of the gems,' said Nazza. He ran off in the direction of the Glimmer portal.  
  
'It's bad that Ripto has returned,' said Elora. 'Especially since my fairy friend is on holidays.'  
  
'That reminds me,' said Spyro. 'Where's Sparx?'  
  
'He's chasing butterflies over there,' said Elora, pointing to Sparx, who was buzzing around trying to take a bite out of several butterflies.  
  
'Thanks,' said Spyro.  
  
'You're welcome,' said Elora as he walked over to Sparx.  
  
'Sparx!' said Spyro. 'We've got to get rid of Ripto again.'  
  
'Buzz buzz buzz!' said Sparx. He started telling Spyro of something, and Spyro listened intently, nodding every now and then. 'Can't you just give me the key?' asked Spyro. Sparx shook his head.  
  
Spyro sighed. 'Okay, I'll ram all these sheep and make them turn into butterflies,' he said to Sparx. 'But you have to give me the key.'  
  
Spyro charged at the sheep, hit them and they transformed into butterflies with a 'Baaaa'. Spyro charged all the sheep, and Sparx ate all the butterflies.  
  
'Now can I have the key?' Spyro asked. Sparx gave him the key, and Spyro put it in the journal.  
  
=============================1 Key(s) Found==============================  
  
'Thanks, Sparx,' said Spyro.  
  
Spyro walked around, trying to find Hunter, and Sparx followed him, picking up gems as they went.  
  
Spyro found Hunter up some grassy stairs on a platform. 'Hello, Spyro,' said Hunter. 'What's wrong?'  
  
'Ripto has returned,' said Spyro to the tall cheetah. 'Me and a friend called Nazza need to collect the keys.'  
  
'Really?' said Hunter. 'Well, I have just the job for you.'  
  
Nazza came running up to Spyro. 'I have all the gems from Glimmer,' he said.  
  
He handed Spyro the gems, who put them in the magical journal.  
  
[PAGE 3]  
  
=Glimmer=  
  
Gems: 400  
  
Keys: 4/4  
  
(1) Moneybags  
  
(2) In The Grass  
  
(3) Restoring Gem-Light  
  
(4) 400 Gems  
  
'Glimmer is complete,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yay!' said Hunter. 'Now, I have a job for one of you, but I'm afraid I can't do anything with the other one.'  
  
'Nazza needs some training,' said Spyro.  
  
'Not really,' said Nazza.  
  
'So I'll do the job,' said Spyro, 'and you can train him to jump further than he already can.'  
  
'Okay, Spyro,' said Hunter. 'I lost three pairs of shoes this morning.'  
  
'That's gotta be a record,' said Spyro. 'Three in one day.'  
  
'Can you find them and bring them back to me?' asked Hunter.  
  
'Sure,' said Spyro. 'I'm on it.'  
  
Spyro ran off, with Sparx not far behind him. 'Now, Nazza,' said Hunter. 'This is an exercise I did with Spyro, and it made him more skilful. It will make you a better jumper.'  
  
'But I don't want to be a jumper,' said Nazza. 'I want to be a wolf.'  
  
'I meant you will be able to jump better, higher and faster,' said Hunter.  
  
'Aww, I don't want to do an exercise,' said Nazza. 'I'd rather be fat.'  
  
'Moneybags is fat,' stated Hunter.  
  
Nazza shuddered. 'Okay, so what do I do?'  
  
'Follow me,' said Hunter. He ran up to the edge of the grassy platform and jumped to a hill with a flat top. 'You need to jump from the platform to this hill,' said Hunter.  
  
'That's a cinch,' said Nazza. He leapt from the grassy platform and landed on the hill. 'Too easy.'  
  
Hunter leapt to a further away flat-topped hill. 'Try this one,' said Hunter.  
  
Nazza leapt and made it to the next hill. 'That one was a bit harder,' said Hunter.  
  
'Yeah,' said Nazza. 'A bit.'  
  
'This is the last one,' said Hunter. 'Spyro needs to glide to get to this one.'  
  
'Bring it on,' said Nazza.  
  
Hunter jumped to the last hill, which was noticeably higher than the one Nazza was on, but almost the same distance as the last jump.  
  
Nazza leapt, and only just made it to the other side. He clawed his way up to the last hill. 'Very good,' said Hunter. 'Now we just have to wait for Spyro to get back.  
  
At that moment Spyro came running back with three pairs of shoes in his mouth. 'Found them,' said Spyro.  
  
He flicked them up to Hunter. 'Thanks, Spyro,' said Hunter. He pulled a key out of nowhere and threw it down to Spyro.  
  
==============================2 Keys Found==============================  
  
Nazza jumped down from the hill and met up with Spyro. Sparx was buzzing around behind him as they began walking around.  
  
'How many keys do we need now?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Two more,' said Spyro. 'One is for collecting all the gems.'  
  
'I'm guessing the other one is hidden somewhere,' said Nazza.  
  
'You can look for the missing key and I'll collect all the gems,' said Spyro.  
  
'Okay,' said Nazza. Spyro ran off, Sparx flying behind him collecting gems as they ran. 'Now,' said Nazza, 'where would the last key be?'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Several minutes later Nazza had been looking and found nothing.  
  
He walked over to the Glimmer section, hoping to find the key in one of the trees. He ram-headbutted them all but no keys fell out, just some leaves and the occasional squirrel.  
  
'Jeez, looking for keys is hard work,' said Nazza, walking over to the stream. He took a few sips and splashed some water over his face. He put his back paws in the water, letting them cool down for a while.  
  
Then he realised.  
  
He ran over to the little pool in the corner in between the grass and a big stone wall that prevented the Summer Forest natives from falling into a cloudy oblivion. Nazza looked down, and saw that there were gems down there.  
  
Suddenly Spyro came running up behind him. 'I need to find precious twelve gems,' said Spyro.  
  
'How much gems have you got?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Seven-hundred and eighty-eight,' said Spyro.  
  
'That's enough for Moneybags to teach us to dive underwater, right?' said Nazza.  
  
'Sure,' said Spyro.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and Nazza ran to Moneybags. 'Ah, have enough gems for me?' said Moneybags.  
  
'Yes,' said Spyro, handing Moneybags five-hundred gems. 'Now, teach us to dive.'  
  
===MANY HOURS LATER===  
  
'Thanks, Moneybags,' said Spyro.  
  
'Thanks, Moneybags,' said Nazza.  
  
'No, thank you,' said Moneybags. 'With this money I could buy a new boat.'  
  
Spyro and Nazza ran to the little pool. 'You first,' said Spyro.  
  
Sparx buzzed annoyingly. 'It seems like Sparx doesn't like the water,' said Nazza, before jumping in and diving very deep.  
  
The pool led to a secret "cave" dug out of the mountains. There was a bit of ground, and a "window" carved out of the mountain. Spyro and Nazza could see the giant pool, Moneybags standing next to it, trying to convince Elora to give him some gems, Hunter running around and jumping and doing athletic stuff, Crash Bandicoot spinning some sheep turning them into butterflies - Crash Bandicoot?  
  
'I'd better go back to Insanity Beach before the immigration cops get me,' said Crash Bandicoot. He jumped into a portal that appeared, and just as it had appeared, the portal disappeared.  
  
'There's a key,' said Nazza, pointing to the ground. Spyro picked it up and put it in the journal.  
  
==============================3 Keys Found==============================  
  
'But where's the last gem?' said Spyro. 'I only have two-hundred and ninety- nine.'  
  
'Over there,' said Nazza, pointing to the corner of the hidden lookout. There was a small sparkling gem, which Spyro picked up and put in the journal. Out of nowhere a key appeared right in front of them.  
  
'I think that's all the keys,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yeah,' said Nazza. 'The door to Ripto's Castle must have a lot of locks on it.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
===Spyro and Nazza's Journal===  
  
[PAGE 2]  
  
=Summer Forest=  
  
Gems: 400  
  
Keys: 4/4  
  
(1) Sparx's Sheep  
  
(2) Hunter's Shoes  
  
(3) Secret Lookout  
  
(4) 400 Gems  
  
--Glimmer - 100%  
  
--Idol Springs - 0%  
  
--Colossus - 0%  
  
--Hurricos - 0%  
  
--Sunny Beach - 0%  
  
--Aquaria Towers - 0%  
  
--Ocean Speedway - 0%  
  
--Crush's Dungeon - 0%  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next Chapter: =Idol Springs= Stone-carvers, hula-girls, and bewitched idols. Could it get more insane? (The Master of the Cuccos could arrive with a 2-litre bottle of Vanilla Coke.) Good point.  
  
Did You Know? Although Joe, The Master of Cuccos is insane (especially when he drinks Vanilla Coke) he is almost definitely *not* stupid. Any comparisons with The Master of the Cuccos and Joseph from Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Nazza are purely coincidental (except for the name, the insanity and the impulse to shout "Whoop whoop whoop") 


	4. Level 3: Idol Springs

Spyro meets Nazza  
  
  
  
N.B. Spyro the Dragon and associated characters belong to *Sony*, Universal Studios in particular/ Nazza is a creation from the mind of Nazza/  
  
[CHAPTER 4: IDOL SPRINGS]  
  
  
  
Spyro the Dragon and Nazza the Blue Wolf walked over to the Idol Springs portal. 'This is the closest portal,' said Spyro. 'Let's go.'  
  
They walked through the portal, and arrived on grass, with a big lake to their left, and a building that led to the next section of the world in front of them.  
  
'I wonder where the keys are here,' said Nazza.  
  
'I have an idea,' said Spyro. He jumped into the water and swum on the surface for a bit. 'You go on and see if you can find any keys, and collect as many gems as you can, and I'll get the gems in this lake, okay?'  
  
'Okay,' said Nazza. 'Meet me at the exit portal, okay?'  
  
'Okay,' said Spyro. He dived under the water and Nazza walked off, through the building that separated that section from the next.  
  
Nazza looked around. There was a little stream running from one side of the section to the other, with stone walls blocking off the edges of the world so that no one accidentally fell and killed themselves in the cloudy abyss.  
  
There was a little bridge that crossed over this stream. There were also several wooden idols running around chasing little wood-carvers.  
  
'Help me!' said one of the wood-carvers as he was running.  
  
'Yes, help us!' cried another.  
  
'Get Spyro!' said a third.  
  
'Uh, Spyro's busy at the moment,' said Nazza. 'But I'm Spyro's good friend, Nazza. I can help you out!'  
  
'I'd rather be rescued by Spyro,' said the third.  
  
'Yeah,' said the second.  
  
'Okay then,' said Nazza, 'I'll only help out this guy.' He ran over to the idol chasing the first wood-carver and knocked it into the wall. It disappeared in a sparkling cloud.  
  
'We're sorry,' said the second. 'We'll let you help out.'  
  
Nazza charged at the second idol, headbutted it and it disappeared. Nazza then charged at the third idol, and hit it as well.  
  
'Thank you, Nazza,' said the first carver.  
  
'Yes, thank you,' said the second.  
  
'Thanks,' said the third.  
  
'Now,' said Nazza, 'if you don't mind me asking, have you seen any keys lying about lately?'  
  
'Nope, sorry,' the all said at the same time.  
  
'Oh well,' said Nazza. 'If you need any help, just send for me.'  
  
'Or Spyro,' said the third and second.  
  
Nazza turned around. The first carver thought he was going to get angry and ram them, but Nazza just said, 'Yeah. Me or Spyro.'  
  
Nazza walked across the bridge, through the building and into the next section.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro, meanwhile, dived down and swum around at a fast speed, Sparx picking up all the gems he could see while Spyro dodged the hills that came up out of the water, too high for any living creature (so far) to climb.  
  
Spyro then noticed a hole in the side of the ground that divided the water from the abyss. 'That's strange,' said Spyro, but it came out 'Blat's brange.'  
  
Spyro swam over to the hole and looked down it. It almost certainly led to a secret room. 'Let's go,' said Spyro, although Sparx didn't understand him.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Nazza walked into the next section, and found a section of land. This time there were four wood-carvers that were being chased by wooden idols.  
  
'Help me!' said the first while running from the idol.  
  
'Yes, help us!' said the second.  
  
'Someone get Spyro!' said the third.  
  
'Hang on a second, there's a blue wolf here to save us!' said the fourth.  
  
'I want Spyro!' said the third.  
  
'Looks like everyone except you is going to be saved,' said Nazza. He charged at the first idol, knocked it out, charged at the second idol, and knocked it into the fourth. They all disappeared in a sparkling cloud that zoomed past.  
  
'Hey!' said the third. 'Somebody help me! Please!'  
  
'You wanted to wait for Spyro,' said Nazza. 'I'm leaving.'  
  
'No! I've changed my mind! I want to be saved!'  
  
'Okay,' said Nazza. He charged at the last idol and knocked it into the mud. 'Next time you need help, send for Nazza.'  
  
'Or Spyro,' said the third.  
  
There was a moment of tense silence, before Nazza said, 'Yeah. Send for Nazza or Spyro.'  
  
Nazza turned to leave, but then turned around again and said, 'By the way, have any of you guys seen any keys lying around lately?'  
  
'Well,' said the second carver, 'My wife lost her car keys, but then I found them again. Do you need my wife's car for some reason?'  
  
'No,' said Nazza. 'Thanks anyway.'  
  
He turned back around.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and Sparx swam down the tunnel, and found it led to a pool. Spyro burst up into air and floated around on the surface till Sparx got back.  
  
They jumped out and found a tunnel paved with stone on all the walls and the ceiling and the floor. The tunnel led to a giant room covered in stone. There was a wood-carver who was standing there thinking. As they entered the room they noticed a giant idol head sleeping on the left side of the room from the entrance.  
  
'Uh, hello?' said Spyro.  
  
'Ah,' said the wood-carver, running over. 'Could you help me please, Spyro?'  
  
'Uh, sure,' said Spyro. 'What do you need help with?'  
  
'This wooden idol has imprisoned me in here,' said the wood-carver. 'He gave me three tasks, and if I can do them all in a row, I can be freed. But I can't seem to do the three tasks he gives me.'  
  
'Sure I'll help you,' said Spyro.  
  
'What's the first task?'  
  
'I need to answer a few questions,' said the wood-carver. 'Oh mighty idol, please wake up!'  
  
The idol head woke up, shaking its head. 'What do you want?' it bellowed.  
  
'I am ready to do the first task,' said the wood-carver. 'May I have the help of Spyro?'  
  
'Very well,' said the idol. 'First question: who is the best?'  
  
'You are, sir,' said the wood-carver.  
  
'Correct,' said the idol. 'Second question: why should you walk a mile in someone's shoes?'  
  
'I always get this one wrong,' said the wood-carver. 'Could you help me out, Spyro?'  
  
'Uh.um.You should walk a mile in someone's shoes because.you're a mile away from that person, and you have their shoes?'  
  
'Correct,' said the idol. 'Last question: How many of each animal did Moses take on the ark?'  
  
'I always get this one wrong as well,' said the wood-carver.  
  
'Can't understand why,' said Spyro sarcastically. 'None, because Moses wasn't on the ark, it was Noah.'  
  
'Correct,' said the idol. 'You may proceed to the second task.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Nazza turned around and entered a stone tunnel. It turned this way and that and there were several caterpillars that turned into butterflies when Nazza headbutted them. There were two wood-carvers being chased by idols.  
  
'Help me!' said the first.  
  
'Yes, someone help us!' said the second.  
  
Nazza charged at one idol and headbutted it, but it wouldn't disappear, so Nazza kept running and hit the other idol. They both disappeared in two sparkling clouds that zoomed away.  
  
'Thanks,' said the first.  
  
'Have you guys seen any keys lately?' asked Nazza.  
  
'No, sorry,' said the first.  
  
'Yeah,' said the second.  
  
'Well, if you find one, ask around for Nazza,' said the blue wolf. 'That's me.'  
  
'Or Spyro,' said the second.  
  
'Yeah,' said Nazza. 'Spyro or Nazza.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'What's the second task?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Follow me,' said the wood-carver. He jumped into the water, and Spyro and Sparx followed.  
  
They emerged in the lake at the start of Idol Springs, and jumped out of the water. 'See that big hill there?' said the wood-carver. 'The one that looks like an idol head?'  
  
'Yeah,' said Spyro.  
  
'It's an idol head,' said the wood-carver.  
  
'What's our second task?' asked Spyro.  
  
'We need to feed this idol head,' said the carver.  
  
'What does it eat?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Fish.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Nazza got to the other end of the tunnel to find several wood-carvers being chased by idols, a stone room across from the end of the tunnel, a hill to the left of this room, and several weird different-coloured different- shaped stones put into the ground.  
  
Nazza counted. There were seven idols chasing seven wood-carvers. 'This should be easy enough,' said Nazza. He ran at one of the idols and headbutted it.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
'That's strange,' said Nazza. 'The idol only seems slightly agitated. And I've got a big headache.'  
  
'These are made from a strong sort of wood,' said the wood-carver that was getting chased by the idol Nazza had headbutted. 'They can't be destroyed by headbutting them, like the others.'  
  
'Yeah,' said the second.  
  
Nazza thought for a while. 'What about fire? Can they be destroyed by fire?'  
  
'Sure,' said the third. 'But you're not Spyro. At least you don't look like him.'  
  
'I'm Nazza,' said the blue wolf. 'But I *do* have this.' He pulled a flamethrower out of his invisible backpack, strapped it to his back and grabbed the end that shot out flames. He held down a button and sprayed all the idols in flames. They were burnt to crisp, and then disappeared in several sparkling white clouds.  
  
'Thanks, thanks a lot,' said the fourth wood-carver. Nazza looked around. He had accidentally set fire to the wood-carvers as well.  
  
'Oops.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and the wood-carver were swimming around the bottom of the lake, looking for fish. Spyro remembered what the carver had said about the second task.  
  
='Yes, you need to feed him fish,' said the wood-carver.=  
  
='What's so bad about that? It doesn't seem like a very hard task,' said Spyro. Sparx nodded in agreement.=  
  
='You need to swim in the lake and catch the fish with your bare hands,' said the carver. 'Or in your case, bare paws.'=  
  
='That doesn't seem so hard,' said Spyro.=  
  
='He only likes a few types of fish,' said the carver. 'If you feed him the wrong types, he'll vomit all the fish back up. He has a sensitive stomach.'=  
  
Spyro swam around, gently moving his paws as he scanned the area for fish. He noticed a long blue one eating off the bottom, so Spyro charged at it and grabbed it in his mouth before the fish could move.  
  
While the carver was trying to catch a small, fat orange fish, Spyro surfaced, and sent the fish flying in flames into the idol's mouth. It chewed for a while, then swallowed. 'Mmm, crispy, just the way I like them,' it said.  
  
'Okay,' said Spyro. 'It likes blue fish.'  
  
The wood-carver jumped out of the water with a short, fat orange fish. He threw it into the idol's mouth. It chewed for a while, then said 'Not as tasty, but it'll do. I want.eight more fishes, please.'  
  
Spyro sighed. It was gonna be one long day.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Nazza walked over to the stone room, and found a wood-carver, a portal and a doorway onto that hill.  
  
'Thank you, Nazza,' said the wood-carver. 'You have ridded our wonderful land of the evil idols. How can we ever thank you?'  
  
'Have you got any keys?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Yes,' said the wood-carver. 'Here you go.'  
  
=============================1 Key(s) Found==============================  
  
Meanwhile, Spyro was grabbing blue and orange fish and feeding them to the idol. He grabbed one last orange one, and threw it into the idol's mouth.  
  
'I'm not hungry anymore,' said the idol head. 'Proceed to the last task.'  
  
Spyro followed the wood-carver to the funny different-coloured different- shaped things that were stuck in the ground. The wood-carver pressed a button on the ground and the different-shaped things elevated out of the ground.  
  
'You need to hop onto one of these,' said the wood-carver. Spyro jumped on a white star, and the wood-carver on a blue circle.  
  
An idol appeared on a green square. 'You must answer, correctly, five questions for this last task.'  
  
'Okay then,' said the wood-carver.  
  
'I'm ready,' said Spyro.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Are there any other problems in Idol Springs?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Yes,' said the wood-carver. 'There's a group of idols holding our hula- girls captive.'  
  
'Where do I go?' asked Nazza.  
  
'There's a portal on that hill outside,' said the wood-carver.  
  
'Thanks,' said Nazza. He walked out onto the hill, and saw the different- coloured, different-shaped things floating a foot or two above the ground. Spyro was on a white star, a wood-carver on a blue circle, and an idol on a green square.  
  
'Hey Nazza!' said Spyro.  
  
'Hey,' said Nazza. 'Do you want me to kill that idol?'  
  
'No thanks,' said Spyro.  
  
'Okay,' said Nazza. 'I'm going to save some hula girls. Meet me back here, okay?' He stepped through the portal and arrived at another section of Idol Springs. There were two pyramids and in between them what looked like a sheet of sparkling glass, although there was no glass. There was a path that was blocked off in eight parts by wooden blocks, upon which were a hula girl, dancing about, looking at the leader of hula girls who was strapped up and being taunted by a giant wooden idol.  
  
Nazza walked through the two pyramids and suddenly shot off like a rocket. He hit the wall and got a major headache. 'Ow, that hurt.'  
  
He walked back to the pyramids, and walked through them again. He shot off, and followed the path. As he hit the wooden blocks the hula girl on top was launched over to the leader hula girl who was strapped up. Nazza continued following the path, which was hard because he was going so fast. He hit all eight of the blocks, and watched as the hula girls began dancing. Suddenly a raincloud appeared over the idol, and it poured down on him. The water made him crack and burst into pieces.  
  
'Thank you Nazza, for helping me get freed,' said the leader hula girl once the others unstrapped her. 'Here, take this key I found.'  
  
==============================2 Keys Found==============================  
  
'Okay, the first question,' said the idol. Before he could continue, Nazza appeared on the hill nearby.  
  
'Hey Nazza!' said Spyro.  
  
'Hey,' said Nazza. 'You want me to kill that idol?'  
  
'No thanks,' Spyro replied.  
  
'Okay,' said Nazza. 'I'm going to save some hula girls. Meet me back here, okay?'  
  
'Okay,' said Spyro. Nazza stepped through a portal and disappeared.  
  
'As I was saying,' said the idol. 'First question: Let's say I'm in a house.'  
  
'What type of house?' asked the wood-carver.  
  
'I don't know,' said the idol. 'Okay. I'm in a house, which has one room.'  
  
'What's the wallpaper in the room?' asked the wood-carver.  
  
'Don't worry,' said Spyro. 'I'll figure this one out.'  
  
'I'm in this room,' continued the idol. 'Each side of the room has a window. Each window has a southern exposure.  
  
'A bear walks past one of the windows. What colour is it?'  
  
'Brown!' said the wood-carver.  
  
'White,' said Spyro. 'It's white, because if each window has southern exposure, it's at the North Pole. That means the bear is a polar bear.'  
  
'Correct,' said the idol. 'Second question: I have two coins, that add up to fifty-five cents. This is for you, Spyro, since you know about American currency. I have these two coins that add up to fifty-five cents. One isn't a nickle. What two coins am I holding?'  
  
'A quarter and two dimes?' asked the wood-carver.  
  
'A fifty-cent coin and a nickle,' said Spyro. The wood-carver stared at him.  
  
'I thought that a nickle wasn't allowed!' said the wood-carver.  
  
'The idol said *one* of the coins isn't a nickle,' said Spyro. 'That coin is the fifty-cent coin.'  
  
'Correct,' said the idol. 'Last question: Am I allowed by law to marry my widow's sister?'  
  
'Um.yes?' said the wood-carver.  
  
'You can't,' said Spyro. 'If you had a widow that means you're dead, so you can't marry your widow's sister because you're dead!'  
  
'Correct,' said the idol. 'Here's a key for Spyro, and the wood-carver is allowed to run free.'  
  
'Thanks Spyro!' said the wood-carver.  
  
==============================3 Keys Found==============================  
  
Nazza appeared out of the portal and saw Spyro. 'Here's a key for Spyro, and the wood-carver is allowed to run free,' said the idol.  
  
'Thanks Spyro!' said the wood carver.  
  
Nazza saw a key float over to Spyro. 'Hey Spyro! Ready to leave?'  
  
'Yeah,' said Spyro. 'Have you got all the gems?'  
  
'I think,' said Nazza. 'I have two-hundred and fifty-one.'  
  
'That's enough,' said Spyro. 'Let's go.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
===Spyro and Nazza's Journal===  
  
[PAGE 4]  
  
=Idol Springs=  
  
Gems: 400  
  
Keys: 4/4  
  
(1) Idol Exterminator  
  
(2) Hula Girls  
  
(3) Idol's Tasks  
  
(4) 400 Gems  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next Chapter: Not telling. You'll find out.  
  
Did You Know? In Spyro 2: Gateway to Glimmer the aim of the game was to collect talismans and orbs. 


	5. Level 4: Colossus

Spyro meets Nazza  
  
  
  
N.B. Spyro the Dragon and associated characters belong to *Sony*, Universal Studios in particular/  
Nazza is a creation from the mind of Nazza/  
Bob and Randall are creations from the mind of Nazza and are not to be used without sole (no not the soles on your shoe dummy) permission from Nazza/  
  
[CHAPTER 5: COLOSSUS]  
  
  
  
Spyro the Dragon and Nazza the Blue Wolf left Idol Springs.  
  
'Where to now?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Colossus,' said Spyro.  
  
'Which one's that one?' asked Nazza.  
  
'The one with the guys who chant and for some reason like their goats to hover in the air.'  
  
'Ah, *that* one.'  
  
They walked over to the portal.  
  
'Look, there's Moneybags,' said Nazza.  
  
'Where?'  
  
'Just over there. Oh no! He's running toward us! His fat's wobbling! IT'S HIDEOUS!'  
  
'RUN!'  
  
Spyro and Nazza ran into the portal, and arrived in Colossus.  
  
'That was a close one,' said Spyro.  
  
'Tell me about it,' said Nazza.  
  
One of those chanting guys ran over to Spyro and Nazza. 'Hello Spyro, hello -'  
  
'Nazza,' said Nazza.  
  
'Hello Nazza,' said the monk. 'Could you two please help me?'  
  
'Sure,' said Spyro. 'What's the problem?'  
  
'I have this big itch on my back, do you think you could scratch it?'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Once Spyro had scratched the monk's back (much to his dismay), the monk turned around again.  
  
'Anything else?' said Spyro.  
  
'Yeah,' said the monk. 'If you could follow me...'  
  
They followed the monk to a hidden building hidden somewhere in Colossus (can't tell you or else it wouldn't remain hidden). They found a table, with several monks sitting down.  
  
At the table.  
  
'Here are our saviours,' said the monk.  
  
'Yay!' said one monk.  
  
'Shut up!' said the one next to him.  
  
'Sorry.'  
  
'We have two jobs for you,' said the monk.  
  
'I see,' said Nazza.  
  
'No, you don't see,' said the monk. 'See, there's been these ghosts flying around. They like to spook things.'  
  
'Okay,' said Nazza.  
  
'And there's also a new breed of yeti,' said the monk.  
  
'I see,' said Spyro.  
  
'No, you don't see,' said the monk. 'See, there's been these -'  
  
'Uh, I think you're reading the wrong page of the script,' said Spyro.  
  
'I see,' said the monk.  
  
'No, you don't see,' said Nazza. 'See -'  
  
'Uh, could everyone turn to page 10 in the script please,' said Spyro.  
  
'Ah,' said the monk. 'Okay. There's also a new breed of yeti. They have invaded the stage, and we need to get rid of them.'  
  
'I'll take the new breed of yeti mission,' said Spyro.  
  
'That leaves me with the ghost mission,' said Nazza.  
  
'Oh, and here's a key,' said the monk.  
  
'What for?' asked Spyro.  
  
'I don't know, I just found it. Oh, it's for accepting the missions.'  
  
=============================1 Key(s) Found==============================  
  
'Okay,' said the monk. 'Now Nazza, you go with Bob, and Spyro you can come with me.'  
  
Bob walked over to Nazza. 'So, Nazza, are you ready for the mission?'  
  
'Yeah,' said Nazza. 'I'm ready.'  
  
'Follow me,' said Bob. As they began to walk out of the hidden building, Bob briefed Nazza. 'Well, the professor had found a hidden chamber the other day. Inside this chamber were several small tubes. Fourteen, to be exact.'  
  
'Uh-huh.'  
  
'The professor thought they might be a strange artifact, that inside the tube there might be something valuable or ancient. Or both.'  
  
'Yeah.'  
  
'So he took these tubes to the hockey field, and the Summer Forest hockey team whacked the tubes until they were cracking.'  
  
'That's strange.'  
  
'I know. The professor went up to his little "room" near the hockey field, and broke open the tubes, and these fourteen ghosts came out.'  
  
'What did they look like?'  
  
'The professor will tell you. That's why we're walking to the professor's "room".'  
  
'I see.'  
  
'And these ghosts have been annoying everyone since they were released. The professor, being the professor, decided he could catch them, so he sent for Spyro.'  
  
'And me.'  
  
'No, not really.'  
  
'Damn, why doesn't anyone know my name here?'  
  
'Maybe because you haven't saved this place before.'  
  
'But I've saved other places before!'  
  
'Give me an example.'  
  
'No.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Okay,' said the monk. 'Now Nazza, you go with Bob, and Spyro you can come with me.'  
  
Spyro walked over to the monk, and they left the hidden building an alternate way to Nazza and Bob.  
  
'So, what's the mission,' said Spyro. 'Give me a debriefing.'  
  
'Okay,' said the monk. He grabbed Spyro's invisible underpants and ripped them off.  
  
'I didn't mean it like that!' said Spyro angrily.  
  
'Oh. How did you mean it?'  
  
'Tell me what I have to do for the mission!'  
  
'Well, I'm going to take you to this little hut to show you what the new breed of yeti is like.'  
  
'Tell me what I have to do while we're walking.'  
  
'Well, you'll be with a champion yeti-hunter. It seems the new breed have come down from the himalayas and invaded the snowier regions of Colossus.'  
  
'Okay.'  
  
'There's a small colony, about thirty yetis, and you and the yeti-hunter have to hunt them down and kill them.'  
  
'Cool.'  
  
They walked into a big building, jumped onto a moving wooden head that acted like an elevator, jumped off, and found a small hut with a big tough-looking cat outside.  
  
'The yeti's in there,' said the cat.  
  
'Hello Randall, have you heard of Spyro?'  
  
'Why no I haven't,' said the cat, whose name was apparently Randall.  
  
'Well, he's saved Summer Forest, Winter Tundra *and* Autumn Plains, all at once.'  
  
'Interesting,' said Randall.  
  
'He's here to help you exterminate the yetis,' said the monk.  
  
'In that case, I'll take you to my cabin,' said Randall.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
They arrived at the professor's little "room".  
  
'Who is this, Bob?' said the professor.  
  
'It's Nazza,' said Bob. 'He's here about the ghosts mission.'  
  
'Ah, Nazza!' said the professor. 'I've heard so much about you!'  
  
'Really?'  
  
'Uh...a bit...but the point is, you're here.'  
  
'What do I have to do?' asked Nazza.  
  
'See these backpack things here?'  
  
'The ones with the vacuumy things on them?'  
  
'Yes,' said the professor. 'These will capture the ghosts and put them into new tubes, this time made of plastic.'  
  
'Doesn't plastic break easily?' asked Nazza.  
  
'No...' said the professor. 'At least, I don't think so...'  
  
'So, am I going to catch the ghosts alone?'  
  
'Why of course not,' said the professor. 'Bob's also going to help out.'  
  
'Okay,' said Nazza. He picked up one of the backpacks, put it on, and held the vacuum nozzle.  
  
'So this vacuum catches the ghosts?'  
  
'Yeah,' said the professor.  
  
'I don't like this,' said Nazza. 'I have to stand upright.'  
  
Bob put on the backpack. 'Let's go.'  
  
-A MINUTE OR SO LATER -  
  
'If there's something strange, and it don't look good, who you gonna call?'  
  
'DUSTBUSTERS!' shouted Nazza. 'I mean, GHOSTBUSTERS!'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
They arrived at Randall's cabin.  
  
'So, how many yetis are there that we have to kill?' asked Spyro.  
  
'About thirty in the tribe,' said Randall. 'That's roughly fifteen for each of us.'  
  
'Cool,' said Spyro.  
  
'Here's a tranquiliser gun,' said Randall, picking one up and holding it out for Spyro to grab.  
  
'No thanks,' said Spyro. 'I'll just use my firebreath.'  
  
'Okay then,' said Randall. 'Let's go hunt some orc - I mean, yeti!'  
  
-A MINUTE OR SO LATER -  
  
'If there's big yetis, and they don't look good, who you gonna call?'  
  
'BALLBUSTERS!' shouted Spyro. 'I mean, GHOSTBUSTERS! I mean, YETI EXTERMINATORS!'  
  
One of the residents walked past and said to his friend, 'I think Spyro's been poppin' to many pills.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Bob and Nazza walked around, looking for ghosts.  
  
'Where would they most likely be?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Somewhere annoying someone,' said Bob. 'I'd say our best bet is to go into the city.'  
  
'Okay then,' said Nazza.  
  
As they entered the city, he could vaguely hear someone singing 'Ghostbusters' except instead of shouting 'Ghostbusters' they were shouting 'Yeti Exterminators'.  
  
'There's one!' shouted Bob.  
  
Nazza noticed a big giant green ghost trying to pick up a house. However, the house wasn't budging.  
  
'Here, let me help you,' said a giant. He stepped over, crushing several people, and lifted the house up. 'There you go.'  
  
'Quick, shoot it!' said Bob.  
  
They aimed, took fire and shot beams at it. The ghost was sucked into Bob's vacuum cleaner, and trapped in one of the tubes.  
  
'A job well done,' said Bob.  
  
'Hey, where'd my ghost-friend go?' said the giant. 'Oh well. I'll go take a nap now.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro followed Randall.  
  
'The camp's in the woods,' said Randall.  
  
'The woods are straight in front of us,' said Spyro.  
  
'There's a giant over there,' said Randall.  
  
The two turned around and watched as a giant ripped out one of the houses and gave it to a green ghost. Then two laser beams shot up and sucked the ghost up.  
  
'Hey, where'd my ghost-friend go?' said the giant. They could hear him because, well, he was a giant. 'Oh well, I'll go take a nap now.'  
  
'Look,' said Randall. 'There's the yeti camp!'  
  
'It's band camp!' said Spyro.  
  
'Not really,' said Randall.  
  
Randall loaded up his tranquiliser gun, took aim, and CLICK! The tranquiliser dart hit one of the yetis. He instantly fell asleep.  
  
'Jolly good shot,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yes, it was a rather good shot, wasn't it.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Nazza and Bob walked around the town, looking for ghosts.  
  
'Well, we've got one,' said Bob. 'That's good so far.'  
  
'Aargh!' shouted someone, who was running around frantically. 'There's a big green ghost in the book store!'  
  
-A MINUTE OR SO LATER -  
  
The door of the bookstore burst open, and the sun shone in, revealing Bob and Nazza. 'Who you gonna call?'  
  
'DUSTBUSTERS! I mean, GHOSTBUSTERS!'  
  
The green ghost looked up from its snack of encyclopedias, and saw the blue wolf and monk. 'Me eat you up! Me eat you up!'  
  
'I don't think so, ghosty!' said Nazza. Bob and Nazza sucked the green ghost up.  
  
'Another easy trap,' said Bob.  
  
'Yep.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and Randall looked around. 'There are three more at the camp right now,' said Randall.  
  
'I do have eyes, you know,' said Spyro.  
  
'I'll take down the big one, then you flame the two smaller ones, okay?'  
  
'Okay.'  
  
Randall loaded the tranquiliser gun, took aim, and shot at one yeti which had its back to the two. It fell down, and Randall noticed the tree in front of it was wet.  
  
'That's gross,' said Spyro. He ran out, and started wildly shooting flames at the two yetis. They were set on fire, and a few minutes later, they were charred and black.  
  
'Roast yeti, anyone?'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
The "ghostbusters" walked through the town. 'Two down, eight more to go,' said Nazza.  
  
'I should do this more often,' said Bob.  
  
'Where else do you reckon the ghosts would be?'  
  
'Let's check near the forest,' Bob suggested.  
  
'Okay,' said Nazza.  
  
They walked over near the forest, and found another green ghost terrifying a group of school cats.  
  
'Hey, greenboy!' shouted Nazza. 'Take this!'  
  
He shot a laser at the ghost, and it was sucked into the vacuum, and trapped in another of the tubes.  
  
'Could this get any easier?' said Bob.  
  
'Probably,' said Nazza.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
The "Yeti exterminators" walked through the forest, looking for yetis. Suddenly, two yetis appeared and attacked them.  
  
'How convenient,' said Randall. Spyro shot out a burst of flames and began running around in circles shouting 'WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP.'  
  
By the time Spyro had finished his bout of temporary insanity, he noticed that the two yetis were burnt to a crisp.  
  
Randall didn't look too good either. 'Sorry about that...'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
The "ghostbusters" entered the forest. 'Now, to find ourselves another ghost,' said Bob.  
  
'Who you gonna call? A PSYCHIC WHO KNOWS THE FUTURE! I mean, GHOSTBUSTERS!'  
  
They continued walking through the forest, then found a yeti lying down near a wet tree, with a tranquiliser dart on the back of its knee.  
  
'Strange,' said Bob.  
  
'Look at this,' said Nazza. He was crouching over a charred, burnt dead corpse of a yeti.  
  
'That's even stranger,' said Bob. 'And look, there's two corpses.'  
  
'Oh no,' said Nazza. 'Could it be...'  
  
'*GASP* Could it be...what?'  
  
'Could it be...the blair yeti-killer?'  
  
DUN DUN DUN  
  
'Look!' said Bob. 'Even more strange!'  
  
He pointed, and Nazza looked. One of the green ghosts was leaning against a tree, and a strange yellow liquid was pouring over the tree. From the ghost.  
  
'My turn,' said Bob. 'Who you gonna call?'  
  
'BLADDER CONTROL!'  
  
Bob sucked up the ghost. Even when it was in the vacuum a strange yellow liquid seeped out.  
  
'Eww!' said Nazza.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Mission Log: So far we've taken down six of the thirty yetis.'  
  
'Uh, Randall?' said Spyro. 'How come you're talking into a small log?'  
  
'Never mind,' said Randall, throwing the log away. 'See any more yetis?'  
  
'Not yet,' said Spyro. 'Hey look, there's a tunnel in this forest.'  
  
'I'll bet the rest of the yetis are down there.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
They walked around the forest, as night slowly crept upon them.  
  
'I'm scared that the blair yeti-killer is going to kill me,' said Nazza.  
  
'You're not a yeti, are you?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Then you have nothing to worry about.'  
  
Suddenly four ghosts appeared. 'Aargh!' shouted Nazza. 'It's the Blair Ghost!'  
  
Suddenly the ghosts started talking at once. 'We are the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future. And the ghost of this fat guy who died on Christmas Day.'  
  
'Quick! Suck 'em!' shouted Bob.  
  
Nazza and Bob quickly sucked up two of the ghosts. 'No!' shouted one of the two left. 'The ghosts of Christmas past and present are gone, but the future will remain!'  
  
'Nope,' said Bob, who sucked up the ghost of Christmas future.  
  
Nazza tried to suck up the ghost of the fat man, but he wouldn't seem to fit. 'He - doesn't - seem - to fit - and he's - struggling - to get - out -' Nazza managed to say, with the vacuum tube moving about wildly in his arms.  
  
'This should help,' said Bob. He removed the tube from the vacuum pipe, then flipped to reverse, and helped push the ghost into the vacuum.  
  
'That's better,' said Nazza.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and Randall were surrounded by eight yetis.  
  
'Now would be a good time for you to use your firebreath,' said Randall.  
  
'I can't!' said Spyro. 'I'm out of firebreath!'  
  
'Great time for you to lose your firebreath, Spyro,' said Randall sarcastically.  
  
'What do we do now?'  
  
'Time for Samurai Randall to return!' said Randall. He drew a samurai sword out of nowhere. 'Hiya! Ya! Ya!'  
  
Three yetis' heads were sliced clean off.  
  
'Ya! Ya! Ya!'  
  
Three yetis were devoid of legs.  
  
'Ya! Ya! Ya - wait, there's only two left, not three.'  
  
'You were about to slice me horizontally in half,' said Spyro. 'A good thing you realised before you did.'  
  
'Yeah, hehe,' said Randall. He looked around at the bits of chopped up yeti. 'So, what do you think of my ninja skills?'  
  
'You're a ninja? Well, it was alright I guess.'  
  
'That's good. Now let's find the rest of the yetis.'  
  
'No.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Nazza and Bob roamed the forest in the dark. 'How many more ghosts do we need to catch?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Six,' said Bob.  
  
'Look! There's six ghosts having a camp fire!'  
  
'Hey ghosts!' shouted Bob. 'Over here!'  
  
Nazza and Bob instantly sucked up two ghosts, then two more.  
  
'Just two left,' said Bob. 'They're big ones too.'  
  
It took them a whole two minutes to suck up the last two ghosts. 'I believe that's all fourteen,' said Bob. 'Let's go back to the professor.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and Randall found another room, and a whopping twelve yetis.  
  
'Samurai time,' said Randall.  
  
'Can I have the tranquiliser gun?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Yeah, sure, here you go.'  
  
-A FEW MINUTES LATER-  
  
'Well, that's all of the yetis,' said Randall.  
  
'Yep,' said Spyro. 'Let's go back.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Ah, I see you and Nazza have collected all eight ghosts,' said the professor. 'Here's a key for your efforts.'  
  
==============================2 Keys Found==============================  
  
'Let's go back to the hidden building,' said Bob.  
  
'Yeah,' said Nazza.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Here's a key for helping get rid of the yetis,' said Randall.  
  
==============================3 Keys Found==============================  
  
'I'm gonna go back to the hidden building,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yeah,' said Randall. 'I'll go back to my cabin.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro arrived back at the hidden building to find Nazza already there.  
  
'You got the key?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Yep,' said Nazza, holding up the key.  
  
'Now we just need one for the gems,' said Spyro.  
  
'I can help you there,' said one of the monks. 'See, we keep all the gems for safe-keeping. So we can just give you the key for nothing.'  
  
==============================4 Keys Found==============================  
  
'Now, let's go,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yeah.'  
  
'Nah.'  
  
===Spyro and Nazza's Journal===  
  
[PAGE 5]  
  
=Colossus=  
  
Gems: 400  
  
Keys: 4/4  
  
(1) Monk Back-Scratching  
  
(2) The Professor's Ghosts  
  
(3) Randall and the Yetis  
  
(4) 400 Gems  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next Chapter: Um...let me check. Hurricos I think.  
  
Did You Know? Randall and Bob were original creations. Don't use them without asking me and without me saying yes. 


	6. Level 5: Hurricos

Spyro meets Nazza  
N.B. Spyro the Dragon and associated characters belong to *Sony*, Universal Studios in particular/  
Nazza is a creation from the mind of Nazza/  
Moby and Guy are other creations from the mind of Nazza, do not use them without my permission/  
  
[CHAPTER 6: HURRICOS]  
'Yeah.'  
  
'Nah.'  
  
'Yeah.'  
  
'Okay.'  
  
Spyro and Nazza left through the portal, and arrived back at Summer Forest.  
  
'Of to Hurricos?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Yep,' said Spyro.  
  
They ran to the Hurricos portal and entered.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
They appeared in Hurricos. It was pouring rain.  
  
'Great weather,' said Nazza.  
  
'It's usually raining,' said Spyro, 'but not this heavily!'  
  
'Did you bring an umbrella?'  
  
'Does it *look* like I'm carrying an umbrella?' said Spyro.  
  
One of the little nerdy people with glasses walked up. 'Quick, follow me! You need to get out of the rain!'  
  
'Why should we?' shouted Nazza.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
They reached the house of the little...thing. 'Why did we have to get out of the rain?' Spyro asked.  
  
'Because,' said the little guy, 'the rain has gone weird lately.'  
  
'Really?' said Nazza.  
  
'Yeah. Somehow it was poisoned,' said the little guy.  
  
'Poisoned?'  
  
'Well sort of,' said the little guy, whose name turned out to be Guy.  
  
'What do you mean, sort of?' said Spyro.  
  
'Somehow it was infected,' said Guy. 'Whenever you're in the rain, you get angry for no reason.'  
  
'Doesn't it always rain here?' said Nazza.  
  
'Exactly,' said Guy. 'That's why we need your help, Spyro.'  
  
'What about me?'  
  
'I don't know you.'  
  
'Oh yeah?' Nazza ran up to him and kicked him in the balls. He flew through the air and hit the wall.  
  
'Ow,' said Guy.  
  
'Nazza doesn't like it when people don't recognise him,' said Spyro. 'After all, he's as good an adventurer as me.'  
  
'But he kicked me in the balls!'  
  
'That doesn't matter,' said Spyro.  
  
'So, how can we help you?' said Nazza.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'There are five cogs scattered over Hurricos,' said Guy. 'You must find them and bring them to me.'  
  
'What's our reward?' asked Nazza.  
  
'A strange key I found,' said Guy.  
  
'Okay,' said Spyro.  
  
'Where are these cogs?' asked Nazza.  
  
'I don't know,' said Guy. 'You can have this strange gadget. It keeps track of the cogs.'  
  
'Okay,' said Spyro, taking the device. 'Come on, Nazza, let's get going!'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
The two walked out into the rain.  
  
'Where should we go now?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Yeah,' said Spyro agitatedly. 'Just ask me. Rely on me for *everything*.'  
  
'Well, *Spyro,*' said Nazza even more agitatedly, 'you're the one who has the thingy that finds the cogs!'  
  
'You can find them *yourself* then,' said Spyro.  
  
'Uh, I forgot this,' said Guy.  
  
'What did you forget *this* time?' said Nazza.  
  
'Have this umbrella,' said Guy. 'And if you don't like it you can pi-'  
  
'Go away,' said Spyro.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Look!' said Nazza. 'There's one of the cogs!'  
  
'Good work,' said Spyro. Nazza picked up the cog, and Spyro opened their journal. Nazza dropped the cog in, and it magically disappeared.  
  
'Wow, that was cool,' said Nazza.  
  
'Yeah, fortunately the PlayStation can handle good special effects, unlike *some* un-named consoles,' said Spyro.  
  
Spyro coughed, and the flames formed the word 'Nintendo'.  
  
Meanwhile, in the land of Nintendo, a dragon coughed, and his flames formed the word 'Mymtendoc'.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Okay, where's the next cog?' Nazza asked.  
  
'It's a little walk from here,' said Spyro.  
  
'That's good,' said Nazza. 'For once we're doing something easy.'  
  
They walked to where the cog was, to find Luigi holding the cog. 'Doh!' said Nazza.  
  
'You can't have this-a cog,'said Luigi.  
  
'How did you know we were looking for cogs?' asked Spyro.  
  
'I didn't-a,' said Luigi. 'It was-a in my programming.'  
  
'Hang on a minute,' said Nazza. 'Aren't you a Nintendo character?'  
  
Suddenly Luigi fell down a plothole.  
  
'Another easy cog,' said Spyro.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'The next cog is a bit further on in the level,' said Spyro.  
  
They walked a bit further, and found a group of weird things throwing the cog around.  
  
'Uh, excuse me, weird things,' said Nazza, 'but can we have that cog?'  
  
The "weird things" stared at the two for a while. They seemed angry.  
  
'Yeah, sure, here you go.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Two more,' said Spyro.  
  
'Excuse me!' said Nazza. 'But so far *I'VE* got all the cogs and -'  
  
'Get back under the umbrella.'  
  
They stopped walking for a second. 'Where's the next cog?'  
  
'I...don't know,' said Spyro.  
  
Suddenly Guy appeared out of nowhere. 'Here's the last two cogs!'  
  
'Good,' said Spyro. 'Give them to us.'  
  
'NO!' said Guy. 'Why should *YOU* get them?'  
  
'Because you're the one who wants the five cogs,' said Spyro.  
  
'That makes no sense,' said Nazza.  
  
'Says *YOU*,' said Guy.  
  
Guy handed Spyro the two cogs, then handed the five cogs back to Guy. 'And here's your key for your reward,' said Guy.  
  
=============================1 Key(s) Found==============================  
  
'Follow me back to my house,' said Guy.  
  
They followed him back to his house.  
  
'Do those five cogs activate a machine that turns the rain back to normal?' asked Spyro.  
  
'No,' said Guy. 'They are parts for my heater.'  
  
0_____0  
  
'Wow,' said Nazza. 'That's the first time one of those funny faces has been used in this story!'  
  
'The first time its been used ever,' said Spyro. 'Minus the people that use them.'  
  
'So, how do we get the other two keys?' asked Nazza.  
  
'How would I know?' said Guy. 'I just wanted my heater to work again.  
  
0_____0  
  
'Heehee, that's funny,' said Nazza.  
  
'Hang on,' said Guy. 'I might know how you could get a key...'  
  
'How?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Steal it off someone while they're out of their house!' said Guy.  
  
'Uh, I think we'll be leaving now...' said Spyro.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'We should've brought an umbrella,' said Nazza.  
  
'*YOU* should've brought an umbrella!' said Spyro angrily.  
  
'You know I could kick your -'  
  
'Hey guys, what are you doing?'  
  
Spyro and Nazza stared at him for a few seconds.  
  
'Who are you?' asked Nazza.  
  
'I am Moby, the happy man!' said the person.  
  
Spyro and Nazza slowly backed away.  
  
'I had too much antidepressants, now I'm Super-Happy!'  
  
Spyro and Nazza turned and ran away.  
  
'Wait! I can help you get a key!'  
  
The two stopped, and slowly turned back around.  
  
'How?' shouted Spyro.  
  
'I can help you stop this rain of depressing-ness!'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Well, "Moby", how can we help?' said Spyro, looking around his house.  
  
'I know how the rain of depressing-ness was caused,' said Moby.  
  
'*Yawn*, we don't want to hear your life story,' said Nazza.  
  
'Continue,' said Spyro.  
  
'There are these funny monster things that I have nicknamed "Joes".'  
  
'Why did you do that?' asked Nazza.  
  
'At first they seem cool, but after a while they get really annoying,' said Moby.  
  
'I think a more appropriate name would be "Amy Roses",' said Nazza.  
  
'Okay, here's what you have to do,' said Moby. 'One of my men has been captured by these "Joes".'  
  
'You're an army general?' said Nazza.  
  
'What makes you think that? Anyway, if you can invade the base and get to the inner courtyard of their fortress, I will give you a key. This key can be used to open all the doors. Or you can just charge at the doors and break them.'  
  
'I think that's the better option,' said Spyro.  
  
'What do we do once we're inside the inner courtyard?'  
  
'You invade the fortress further,' said Moby. 'And when you get to the inner most room, you'll find someone tied up to a machine of some sort. Free him and he will give you another key.'  
  
'Goodie,' said Spyro.  
  
'Let's go then,' said Nazza. The two walked out. 'Hang on, shouldn't we have asked where this big fortress is?'  
  
'No need,' said Spyro. He nodded his head in the direction of a gigantic (and I mean gigantic) fortress, surrounded by at least five barbed-wire fences and beyond them three stone walls enclosing off the fortress.  
  
'Wow, I'll bet someone real rich lives there.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and Nazza walked up to the barbed-wire fences. 'Great,' said Spyro. 'We have to get through these five fences, then three more walls.'  
  
'It's all *YOUR* fault,' said Nazza.  
  
Moby ran up to them. 'Here, take these watches, they make you immune to the rain.'  
  
'They're probably poisoned watches,' muttered Nazza as he and Spyro put them on. 'Hey, this does work.'  
  
'Hey, look! I found a way to get past the barbed-wire fences!' said Spyro. He pointed to a hole dug underneath each fence. 'Looks like someone's been here before.'  
  
'Who was it?'  
  
'How would I know?'  
  
'I don't know!'  
  
They crawled under the holes to come to the stone walls. 'How do we get past *these*?' said Nazza.  
  
'They have doors,' said Spyro.  
  
Nazza sighed. 'We'd better get some harder challenges later on.'  
  
They walked into the fortress, to find a whole lot of annoying creatures. 'I can see why they're called "Joes".'  
  
'Because they're annoying?'  
  
'No, because they're ducks.'  
  
The ducks advanced on them. Nazza and Spyro looked at each other, nodded, then leapt into karate mode.  
  
Several minutes later, the ducks were all lying on the ground, defeated. 'That was easy,' said Nazza.  
  
'Yeah, because all you did was constantly karate-chop one in the head until he passed away!'  
  
'But he looked so evil! I just had to do it!'  
  
Spyro shook his head. 'Let's go into the next room.'  
  
They walked into the next room to find more ducks. 'Aw, crap,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yeah, more of the evil little buggers.'  
  
'No, the floor's covered in duck crap.'  
  
'Eww! I'm not wearing any shoes!'  
  
'Me either.'  
  
'That's it, I'm going to have to take a stand!'  
  
'I don't see any around - oh, I see. You meant it metaphorically, not literally.'  
  
'What the hell are you talking about?'  
  
Nazza picked up a pile of the crap, and threw it at the nearest clan of ducks. They all started quacking frantically, running around and slamming into each other with the force of a steam roller.  
  
'Cool! They don't like this crap!' said Spyro.  
  
They started picking it up and throwing it. Pretty soon the ducks had all wiped themselves out.  
  
'Aw, great, now I have shit on my hands!' said Nazza.  
  
'I don't recall shit being fluoro green,' said Spyro.  
  
'No, that's not the shit. I'm talking about the brown bits.'  
  
'I thought they were just chocolate stains.'  
  
'No, it's shit alright,' said Nazza. 'But do you want to lick it just in case?'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
After several rooms of insane duck attacks, they finally got to the inner courtyard.  
  
'*Phew*,' said Nazza. 'Now where's our key?'  
  
Suddenly Moby ran up behind them. 'Here is your key,' he said.  
  
==============================2 Keys Found==============================  
  
'Hang on a sec,' said Spyro as Nazza put the key in the magic journal. 'How come you made us come in here, when you're already half way?'  
  
'Because I'm too happy to go on and rescue my friend! That's up to you!' Then Moby turned and ran away as fast as he could.  
  
'Well, there's a big wooden door into the inner-part of the fortress,' said Nazza. 'You know what that means.'  
  
'Yep,' said Spyro. 'I'll have to charge.'  
  
Spyro charged at the door and broke it down. 'Oh no, not more Joes!'  
  
'How are we going to get rid of them?' asked Nazza as they slowly advanced on the pair.  
  
'Flame them!' shouted Spyro.  
  
Spyro shot out flame and destroyed a few of the ducks, but Nazza was standing still. 'Oh yeah,' said Spyro. 'I forgot you can't shoot flame out of your nose.'  
  
'That's what you think,' said Nazza. He pulled out a tablet and swallowed it.  
  
'Nazza! Now isn't the time to get high!'  
  
'I'm not getting high,' said Nazza. 'This is a special tablet that gives me special powers.'  
  
'What would those powers be?'  
  
'It makes me sneeze a lot,' said Nazza. 'And each sneeze shoots out fire.'  
  
Suddenly Nazza began sneezing uncontrollably, and set alight all of the ducks. Unfortunately, he couldn't stop sneezing, and set fire to the whole place.  
  
When he had finally finished sneezing, he said, 'Okay, I think we should go into the next room now.'  
  
Spyro charged down the door, and to their surprise, they didn't come across an empty room full of annoying little ducks.  
  
They came across a room with a box-shaped machine with someone tied up to it, and several annoying little ducks.  
  
'I'll take care of the ducks,' said Spyro, 'you take care of the guy tied up to that machine.'  
  
'Hurry up!' said the guy tied up to the machine. 'This box-shaped machine is a bomb!'  
  
Nazza untied him, and Spyro destroyed all the ducks. 'Quick, run!' shouted the guy whose name was Steve.  
  
They ran, and in slow-mo, the fortress exploded. Which was weird, as everything else wasn't slow-mo.  
  
They finally made it to the barbed-wire fences, and just jumped over them (gravity seemed to be playing up). They escaped before the whole thing collapsed and was destroyed.  
  
'That was cool,' said Nazza.  
  
'I believe you have a key for us,' said Spyro.  
  
'Me?' said Steve. 'Okay, here you go.'  
  
==============================3 Keys Found==============================  
  
'Now we just need to find the gems,' said Nazza.  
  
'I'll help,' said Steve.  
  
'And me!' said Moby.  
  
'Where'd you come from?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Who are you?' asked Steve.  
  
'It's-a me, Mario!' said Moby. 'I mean, uh, um, uh-oh...'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'So it was Mario all along,' said Moby.  
  
'How come Moby's here, but there's also Mario?' asked Spyro.  
  
'I'm confused...' said Nazza.  
  
'He posed as me,' said Moby. 'I went on a holiday, and just came back. It seems Mario was posing as me, so that he could get rid of Spyro and Nazza and Steve.'  
  
'But why are you getting revenge on us?' said Spyro.  
  
'Because your games are considered a clone of Mario 64,' said Mario. 'And Spyro is better than Mario 64.'  
  
'Super Mario 64,' Steve corrected.  
  
'So I decided to kill my arch-nemesis,' said Mario.  
  
'But isn't your arch-nemesis Bowser or something?' said Nazza.  
  
'How the hell would I know?' said Mario.  
  
'Well,' said Moby, 'now you must die.' He pulled out a ripper (from Unreal Tournament, the gun with the sharp disc-like blades). He fired at Mario several times, and the dust hid his body for a few seconds.  
  
When the dust had disappeared, they found...nothing.  
  
'How is that possible?' said Moby. 'Mario should be ripped to shreds!'  
  
'Hmm, seems to me like he fell down a plothole just in time,' said Nazza.  
  
'Well,' said Steve, 'let's help these guys find the gems!'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
The rain had disappeared with the destruction of the fortress, and Nazza and Spyro were on their way, having collected all 400 gems.  
  
'See you later!' said Nazza.  
  
'You too,' said Moby and Steve.  
  
They walked through the portal...  
  
===Spyro and Nazza's Journal===  
  
[PAGE 6]  
  
=Hurricos=  
  
Gems: 400  
  
Keys: 4/4  
  
(1) Heater Cogs  
  
(2) Fortress Infiltration  
  
(3) Steve Rescue  
  
(4) 400 Gems  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next Chapter: Who feels like a trip to the beach?  
  
Did you Know? There are 3 worlds in Spyro 2: Gateway to Glimmer, and each one is named after a season. 


	7. Level 6: Sunny Beach

Spyro meets Nazza  
N.B. Spyro the Dragon and associated characters belong to *Sony*, Universal Studios in particular/  
Nazza is a creation from the mind of Nazza/  
  
[CHAPTER 6: SUNNY BEACH]  
They walked through the portal...  
  
And arrived back in Summer Forest.  
  
'Where to next?' asked Nazza.  
  
Spyro looked around. 'Sunny Beach.'  
  
'Where's that?'  
  
'I don't know.'  
  
'There's Elora,' said Nazza, pointing his nose in her direction. 'She can take us there.'  
  
'Oh yeah, I remembered where it is now.'  
  
Nazza stared at Spyro.  
  
'Well I can't remember *everything* you know!'  
  
'No, I'm not staring at you because of that,' said Nazza. 'You've got a giant butterfly on your face.'  
  
'AAARGH! GET IT OFF!'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and Nazza stopped running as they came to the portal to Sunny Beach.  
  
'Off to the beach we go,' said Spyro.  
  
'That's good,' said Nazza. 'I need a tan.'  
  
They stepped through the portal, and ended up at the start of Sunny Beach.  
  
'That was unexpected,' said Spyro. 'Landing at the start of Sunny Beach.'  
  
'Shut up.'  
  
They looked around to find they were in a room (if you could call it a room). If you've played Spyro 2, you know what it looks like.  
  
Anyway, there was a relatively old-looking turtle sitting in his shell, and five small turtles of different colours (purple, pink, light blue, green and yellow).  
  
'Ah! Spyro! And...'  
  
'Nazza.'  
  
'Nazza! Would you mind looking after my baby turtles? I need to go to the movies.'  
  
'What's our reward?' asked Nazza.  
  
'I can give you this key that one of the turtles accidentally swallowed,' said the old man. 'Anything else you need to know, Bazza?'  
  
'My name's Nazza.'  
  
'Oh. I see.'  
  
'Sure,' said Spyro, 'we'll look after them. Provided we get the key. Now, how long will you be?'  
  
'Two hours.'  
  
'We'll do it!' said Spyro.  
  
'You sure you know what you're getting us into?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Yeah,' said Spyro. 'Uh...what was the question again?'  
  
'I'll be seeing you in two hours then,' said the turtle. He stood up, and slowly (I mean VERY slowly) walked out.  
  
'Okay, now where are the five turtles?' said Spyro.  
  
'There,' said Nazza, pointing to the five turtles.  
  
'But I can only count four,' said Spyro.  
  
'I can only count three.'  
  
'Hang on! They're crawling through that big open gate and into the water!'  
  
'WE'VE LOST THEM!'  
  
'No we haven't,' said Spyro. 'Oh wait. We have.'  
  
'Let's find them then!' said Nazza.  
  
The two walked over to the open gate and jumped into the water. They began swimming, and noticed the five turtles swimming down a very wide pipe.  
  
'There they are!' said Nazza.  
  
'I noticed,' said Spyro.  
  
'As long as we follow them, and not get distracted -'  
  
'Hey Spyro! I need you to help me out!'  
  
'DAMMIT!'  
  
'How do we help?' asked Spyro.  
  
'I'll continue swimming after the turtles,' said Nazza.  
  
'No you're not,' said Spyro.  
  
'I need you to untie my shoe. If you don't, I will drown,' said the person.  
  
'What's our reward?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Nothing, I don't have anything on me -'  
  
'Quick Spyro! Before we lose the turtles!'  
  
'But - I'm running out of breath -'  
  
And so they swam on, following the five turtles. Soon the turtles jumped out of the water, and walked up to a dangerous-looking turtle.  
  
'My name is Barrelman,' said the turtle.  
  
'You seem evil,' said Spyro.  
  
'I am. I need your help though.'  
  
'How do we help?' said Nazza.  
  
'Nazza!' whispered Spyro. 'This guy's a bad guy!'  
  
'It seems,' said Barrelman, 'that I accidentally tied the wrong witness of a murder back down there. He is still drowning, and if you could untie his shoelaces and set him free, I will give you a key.'  
  
'Gee, thanks a *lot* Nazza,' said Spyro.  
  
So they swam back down, and untied the guy's shoelaces. He woke up, and swam away as fast as he could.  
  
'That was quick,' said Barrelman as they jumped back out of the water.  
  
'Maybe you're just slow,' said Nazza.  
  
'Here's your key,' said Barrelman.  
  
=============================1 Key(s) Found==============================  
  
'Hey look!' shouted Nazza. 'The turtles are getting away!' He jumped, trying to tackle them, but missed.  
  
'You don't have to shout,' said Barrelman.  
  
'Say, why are you called Barrelman?' asked Spyro.  
  
'It all started a long, long time ago...' said Barrelman.  
  
'No time for flashbacks,' said Nazza. 'Come on, the turtles are getting away!'  
  
Spyro and Nazza ran after the turtles, and walked through another open gate into the great outdoors of Sunny Beach. Instead of their being a beach though, there was a sharp end of the platform-type land that they were standing on.  
  
'I hope none of the turtles fell off the edge of the world,' said Nazza. Suddenly an old turtle rolled off the edge of the world.  
  
'There are the turtles!' said Spyro. 'They seem to be talking to that strange rainbow coloured beanbag turtle.'  
  
'He looks strangely familiar,' said Nazza.  
  
'Let me guess! He's Homer Simpson!'  
  
'No...'  
  
'Sonic the Hedgehog!'  
  
'No...'  
  
'The homeless guy out of Big Daddy!'  
  
'No...Let's just walk up to him, her or it and ask what him, her or it is doing.'  
  
'Yes, no or maybe,' said Spyro.  
  
Nazza began to walk up to him, but then a strange box popped up.  
  
=MESSAGE FROM MASTER OF THE CUCCOS=  
DO NOT GO NEAR TRIPPY UNLESS YOU HAVE NO NINTENDO BASHING  
  
'Sorry, but I can't do it,' said Nazza.  
  
'Why not?'  
  
'I can't talk to Trippy unless we have no Nintendo bashing.'  
  
'Well that sucks.'  
  
'I know.'  
  
'Who's Trippy?'  
  
'INSANE NINTENDO BASHING!' shouted Nazza. Spyro pulled out a Nintendo 64, and threw it at the ground.  
  
'Damn cheap plastic! Why won't you break?'  
  
Spyro picked it up, and threw it at Trippy. Unfortunately, Trippy was squashed.  
  
'Poor Nintendo 64,' said Spyro.  
  
Nazza turned slowly towards Spyro, anger flaming in his eyes.  
  
'You SUCK F***** ASS B*TCH!' shouted Da Dark One out of nowhere.  
  
'Ah shut up you big homo loser!' Nazza shouted back. 'Now, SPYRO, what were you saying about Nintendo?'  
  
'That it sucks?'  
  
'That's better.'  
  
'Much betta!' shouted Da Dark One.  
  
'Oh my god,' said Nazza. 'He watches the Amanda Show!'  
  
'Uh, actually it's you who watches it,' said Spyro.  
  
'Shame on me.'  
  
'Yes, shame on you.'  
  
'How are we going to get the other keys?' asked Spyro.  
  
'We go to sleep!'  
  
'Uh, how's that going to help us?'  
  
'It worked in the alternate ending when we went with Trippy,' said Nazza. 'We fell asleep after we pulled the Nintendo Switch which made everything look crappily pixilated...but I'm not allowed to tell you about that.'  
  
'Right...'  
  
So they went to sleep.  
  
And then they woke up. 'Hey look! A key!'  
  
==============================2 Keys Found==============================  
  
'That was easy,' said Spyro.  
  
'I told you it would work,' said Nazza.  
  
'Hey, where'd the turtles go?'  
  
'Hey Spyro! I found some money! I mean a note!'  
  
Nazza picked up the note and began reading it.  
  
'Your turtles have been kidnapped. To get them back, you must go through an RPG and find me. I will have the turtles.'  
  
'Why do we have to go through a rocket-propelled grenade?'  
  
'It's a role playing game,' said Nazza.  
  
'Oh.'  
  
'How do we get to the role playing game?' wondered Nazza.  
  
'Look, there's a Gameboy!' said Spyro.  
  
'The only worthwhile product Nintendo has made.'  
  
'WHAT DID YOU SAY?' shouted Turquoise-Phoenix.  
  
'I said worthwhile *product*. Video game characters and such aren't products.'  
  
'Oh.'  
  
Spyro picked up the Gameboy. 'What do you think we should -' Then he was sucked into it.  
  
'Wow that was cool -' Then Nazza was sucked into it. (The Gameboy, you sick-minded freak.)  
  
They appeared in a land that was strange. Nazza was amazed that it wasn't a crappily pixilated game.  
  
'Well, this isn't what I expected,' said Nazza.  
  
'Where are we?' asked Spyro.  
  
'I see you've found my lair,' said a voice. They turned around to find they were in the room of a giant castle. Sitting on a throne, with the five turtles running around it, was a strange diabolical villain.  
  
'Who are you?'  
  
'Ich bin das Waffleman!' said the guy on the throne. 'That's German for I am the Gunman.'  
  
'Okay then Waffleman,' said Spyro, 'hand over the key and the turtles.'  
  
'Not so fast,' said Waffleman.  
  
'Huh?'  
  
'First you must fight my henchmen.'  
  
'Okay then Pancakeman,' said Nazza. 'Bring out the henchmen!'  
  
A door near the throne opened, and out walked a ten-tonne elephant.  
  
'Holy crap,' said Spyro.  
  
'I'll use my new mobile phone to destroy it! After all, it's a Nokia. Apparently they have high radiation levels, which explains for my uncontrollable shaking.'  
  
Nazza pointed the phone at the elephant, then it fell to the floor.  
  
'Gah!' said Waffleman. 'Bring out the Gundam!'  
  
Six Gundams walked out the same door. 'Holy crap!' said Nazza. 'They're the Linkin Park Gundams!'  
  
'Whoa,' said Spyro.  
  
'Do I *have* to fight them?' said Nazza.  
  
'Afraid so,' said Waffleman.  
  
'I'll do it,' said Spyro. He ran up to one and flamed it.  
  
'Hey! Don't flame the Joe Gundam!'  
  
'Okay.' Spyro flamed another robot.  
  
'Hey! Don't flame the Chester Gundam!'  
  
'Okay.'  
  
'Hey! Don't flame the Mike Gundam!'  
  
'Okay.'  
  
'Hey! Don't flame the Rob Gundam!'  
  
'What am I sposed to do then?'  
  
'Flame the Brad Gundam.'  
  
'Hey!' said Spyro. 'Why don't I just use your mobile phone?' He snatched it from Nazza and shot at the Gundams. They disintegrated all over Waffleman.  
  
'Okay I give up,' said Waffleman. 'Here's the key, and the turtles.'  
  
==============================3 Keys Found==============================  
  
'And these gems.'  
  
==============================4 Keys Found==============================  
  
'Our business here is done!' said Spyro.  
  
'Yep,' said Nazza.  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
They got the turtles back a minute before the old turtle arrived from...whatever he was doing.  
  
'Good job,' said the old turtle.  
  
'What about the key?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Oh yeah, here it is,' said the turtle, handing over an old rusty key.  
  
'Wait a minute, this isn't the key we want!'  
  
'Too bad!'  
  
===Spyro and Nazza's Journal===  
  
[PAGE 7]  
  
=Sunny Beach=  
  
Gems: 400  
  
Keys: 4/4  
  
(1) Barrelman  
  
(2) Sleepy Sleepy  
  
(3) Linkin Gundams  
  
(4) 400 Gems  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next Chapter: Underwater swimming anyone?  
  
Did you Know? Nazza got a mobile phone *very* recently. 


	8. Level 7: Aquaria Towers

Yes, I decided to write another chapter. More stuff for TurquoisePhoenix to rip the [Mario] out of in her MST. :P  
  
[CHAPTER 6: AQUARIA TOWERS]  
'This is a disgrace!' said Spyro. 'We looked after your turtle-thingies, they nearly got killed, and you give us a rusty key?'  
  
'You expected an actual reward?' said the turtle. 'Unfortunately, you won't get one. Now leave this place before I kill you.'  
  
'Alright, don't kill us,' said Nazza. The two walked through the portal.  
  
'Now where do we go?' Spyro wondered.  
  
'Check the book, dummy,' said Nazza.  
  
'Don't call me a dummy, you dick!'  
  
'You're a dick.'  
  
'You're a dick!'  
  
'You're a dick.'  
  
'You're a dick!'  
  
'You're a dick.'  
  
...'You're a dick!'  
  
'You're a -'  
  
'You are both dicks,' said a voice.  
  
'Who's that?' Spyro wondered.  
  
'Dude, he - she - it is right in front of you!'  
  
'Stop acting like the South Park people,' said Spyro.  
  
'No, you dick!'  
  
'You're a dick!'  
  
'You're a dick.'  
  
'You're a dick!'  
  
'I'm leaving,' said the voice. 'Nazza, you're the dick.'  
  
'Shut up, Turquoise-Phoenix! The proper term is "dickhead" thank you.'  
  
'Whatever.'  
  
'Hang on!' said Spyro. 'Do you have any keys?'  
  
'I don't own a car. Or a house. Or a top secret missile.'  
  
'Hey look! There's a missile!' said Spyro.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
'Yep, that's a missile alright,' said Nazza. 'Not a barrier between the fic and the end of story comments!'  
  
'What are you talking about?'  
  
'Who are you?' said Spyro.  
  
'I'm the reader. And I'm completely confused.'  
  
'You're not the only one,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yes you are,' said Nazza.  
  
'Shut up, dick!'  
  
'You're a dick.'  
  
'Can someone answer my question?'  
  
'Ask her,' said Nazza, pointing at Turquoise-Phoenix. 'She's the one with the MSTs around here.'  
  
'Nazza, why are you so cranky?'  
  
'I'm not cranky,' said Nazza. 'I'm just...well I'm not cranky.'  
  
'You're a dick!'  
  
'You're a dick.'  
  
'You're a dick!'  
  
'Stop stealing our line!' said a Canadian.  
  
'Terrence!' said Nazza. 'And Philip!'  
  
'Yeah, that's our line, dick!' said the green-shirted one.  
  
'You're a dick.'  
  
'You're a dick!'  
  
'I'm outta here.'  
  
'Who said that?'  
  
'Blame Nazza,' said Turquoise-Phoenix. 'He was the one who didn't tell us.'  
  
'Okay I will,' said Spyro. 'You're a dick.'  
  
'Hey look! Terrence and Philip are leaving! With someone else!' said Nazza. 'Wait...I can just make them out...it's the reader! Hey wait, come back!'  
  
'By the way, you're going to Aquaria Towers,' said Turquoise-Phoenix before she disappeared.  
  
'What kind of a name is Turquoise-Phoenix anyway?' said Spyro.  
  
'Sshut up,' said Nazza. 'She might kill you. Or worse, she'll release the hounds. Or the bees. or the hounds with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shoot bees.'  
  
'You all there?' said Spyro. 'Brain-wise?'  
  
'I just had an easter egg and Coke,' Nazza replied.  
  
'Thought so. That or Scott gave you head cancer.'  
  
And so they walked unto the Aquaria Towers portal, and God came, and he said, 'Thou shalt enter the portal.' And they entered, and there was much rejoicing.  
  
'What the f-'  
  
'Easter eggs and Coke,' Nazza replied.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Aargh! It's snowing!' Nazza shouted. Spyro looked at him strangely. 'Easter eggs and Coke.'  
  
'That's not an excuse,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yes it is. How can it not be an excuse?'  
  
'Well...'  
  
'Is it a statement? Is it a question? Is it a sentence fragment? Is it -'  
  
Spyro shot a flame and narrowly missed.  
  
'I hope you missed on purpose.'  
  
'That's for me to know and you to question for the rest of this game. Or whatever it is.'  
  
'Great. Another American hates me,' said Nazza. 'First Da Dork One, then DavidB2090, now Spyro. What next?'  
  
'A monkey will come falling out of the sky?' Spyro stated.  
  
'No,' said Nazza. 'Now, let's get through this portal.'  
  
'We're already through.'  
  
'Then what are we doing?'  
  
'Flying through that strange place between the portals and the levels.'  
  
'That gives me an idea...'  
  
'Does it?'  
  
'Why should I tell you.'  
  
'Because I'm your friend.'  
  
'Really? You're my friend? Does that excuse the fact you slept with my best friend?'  
  
'Elora's your best friend?'  
  
'No, you are. But that's beside the point.'  
  
They arrived in Aquaria Towers, to find it very wet.  
  
'Hello Spyro!' said a seahorse. 'And...dog.'  
  
'My name's Nazza,' he replied. 'Get it right, okay seahorse?'  
  
'My name's -'  
  
'I don't want your life story!'  
  
'So, what's up?' Spyro asked.  
  
'Nothing,' the seahorse replied. 'Since you returned the water, we've been happy.'  
  
'No problems at all?'  
  
'Nope.'  
  
'You wouldn't happen to know of any keys lying around, would you?'  
  
'Why yes, we have four keys right here.'  
  
'Really?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'You sure nothing's gone wrong?'  
  
'No,' said the seahorse. 'But then again, I've been in a mental asylum for the past year.'  
  
'I see...' said Spyro. 'We'll be uh, going now...'  
  
'Wait! Doggy come back! DOGGY!!!'  
  
'That's one scary jellyfish,' said Nazza.  
  
'Seahorse.'  
  
'Whatever.'  
  
They swam around, looking for stuff to do. 'Hey look!' said Spyro. 'There's a key just lying around down there!'  
  
The two swam down the check it out. 'Uh, Spyro, why is there fishing line attached to the key?'  
  
'Who cares? Let's just grab it!'  
  
Spyro grabbed the key, and it shot off down one of the tunnels, pulling him along with it.  
  
'Great, now I have to rescue him,' said Nazza.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Nazza looked around for what seemed like minutes, but in fact it was seconds, when all of a sudden he spotted a note.  
  
'Oh my god! A note! It's just so sudden!' He picked it up and read it. 'I, Barrelman, have kidnapped Spyro. P.S. you suck.'  
  
Nazza screwed up the note and threw it over his shoulder. It kept on moving until it hit the seahorse, and was accidentally snorted up its nose. 'Aargh! I've swallowed a hamburger!'  
  
'I knew Barrelman was trouble,' said Nazza. 'After all, his name does have "Barrel" in it, and barrels are what Donkey Kong uses.'  
  
Nazza looked around, and noticed a trail of little pieces of barrel. 'This is too easy...'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
He came to a big underwater mansion. 'I never knew Luigi liked water!' He walked up to the door to find that the door was actually a talking barrel in disguise.  
  
'You can't come in,' said the barrel.  
  
'Why not?'  
  
'Because...because...because I have the key and you don't!' The barrel then pulled out the key and a doggy treat.  
  
'I need that key!' said Nazza, looking at it. His eyes drifted over to the doggy treat. 'But that looks tasty...'  
  
He began drooling, and the puddle of drool floated slowly upwards, until it got in the talking barrel's eyes. 'Aargh! The slobber! It burns!'  
  
Nazza jumped, caught the doggy treat in his mouth and karate-kicked the key out of the other hand.  
  
=============================1 Key(s) Found==============================  
  
Nazza swam over the unconscious barrel which was lying on the ground. 'Hehe, slobber works every time!'  
  
Suddenly a bunch of barrels came flying into the main hall. It had two staircases on either side, which led up to a second-floor door. There was a door underneath it, under the platform that the stairs led to.  
  
'Fear the mighty wrath of...THE NINJA BARRELS!'  
  
The Ninja Barrels grew legs and arms and attacked Nazza. 'AAARGH! It's like that dream I had! Except these aren't Nintendo characters!'  
  
'Actually, we are,' said one barrel who stopped temporarily.  
  
'NOOOOOOOO! No stingey Nintendo character - even if it is a barrel - is going to kill me!' Then out of his imaginary backpack he pulled out a chainsaw.  
  
'Chainsaws don't work under water,' said the barrel.  
  
'Oh yeah, we'll see about that!' Nazza pulled the ripcord, and a parachute appeared out of nowhere. In other words, from his imaginary backpack. 'Oops, wrong one.'  
  
He pulled the proper ripcord, and the chainsaw began working. But then the blade started to twist, and then the chain mutated into a hoop with sharp pointy bits. 'Crap! What evil, fiendish dark magic did you put on this chainsaw?'  
  
'Nintendo magic,' said one of the barrels.  
  
'The worst of all dark magics,' said Nazza in a quiet tone, so that it sounded dramatic. 'But luckily for me, I carry around a normal wood-axe!'  
  
'What the hell would you carry one around for?'  
  
'To kill Nintendo suppor - I mean, in case I get in a situation like this!' He pulled it out of his imaginary backpack, and threw it. It sliced open a barrel, and out came wine.  
  
'That tastes sweeeet,' said Nazza.  
  
'Hey! What's the axe doing!' said one of the barrels as it flew right back at Nazza. Nazza caught it flawlessly. If he'd missed, he would've caught it pawlessly.  
  
'It's from down under,' said Nazza. 'In other words, Australia. Or as Americans would say it, Awwstrahliah.'  
  
'It's a boomerang!' gasped the barrel. Nazza swam over to the barrels and started doing a torpedo-thingy. Spinning around in circles. He held out the axe, and within seconds he was spinning with the axe held out.  
  
Once he had defeated all of the barrels, a key appeared out of nowhere with a sign attached to it, similar to the one about Trippy.  
  
=MESSAGE FROM GENNAI=  
GOOD WORK IN DEFEATING THE DARK MASTERS. NOW YOU MUST GO ON AND FACE YET ANOTHER SET OF ONE-HUNDRED IMPOSSIBLY HARD DIGIMON THAT YOU WILL DEFEAT EASILY.  
  
'Wrong place,' said Nazza.  
  
SORRY.  
  
=MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE ELSE=  
YOU HAVE DEFEATED THE ALMIGHTY TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TUR - UH, BARRELS. HERE IS THIS KEY.  
  
'But who are you?'  
  
JUST THINK OF ME AS AN ANONYMOUS CALLER THAT GREW UP TO BECOME CHIEF CLANCY -  
  
Nazza hung up and grabbed the key.  
  
==============================2 Keys Found==============================  
  
'Now, which room would have Spyro in it?'  
  
He looked at the two doors. The one up top said 'Not the Room to Spyro' and the bottom one said 'The Room to Spyro'.  
  
'Hmm, I'll go with the bottom one.' He walked over and opened up the door to find two barrels gettin' it on, if you know what I mean.  
  
'Okay, I'll go with the other door.' He walked up the staircase, despite the fact he could just swim, and opened the door to find a long hall with a throne over at the opposite end. 'Hello Nazza,' said the throne-man. 'If you'll excuse me, I need to finish doing my business.'  
  
'First where's Spyro?'  
  
'Really, I need to finish my business.' He made a sound like he was a Dragonball Z character powering up, then a plop sound.  
  
'Aargh! The throne is a toilet!'  
  
'It doubles as a toilet and a throne,' said the guy, who oldly enough was Barrelman. 'Now, Spyro is over there.' He pointed to Spyro, who was tied up to a chair. Electric eels were swimming around him, making sure he didn't escape. (How's this for non-linear? Huh? Huh? Huh?)  
  
'Set him free!' Nazza shouted.  
  
'No.'  
  
'Come on, don't be a big bully.'  
  
'I will now capture you! But first, I will blind you with this blinding flash, and you will be blinded long enough for me to shut the blinds and tie you up.'  
  
'Oh yeah? Bring it on!'  
  
Barrelman pulled out a torch and shone it in Nazza's eyes. 'Aargh! It is a blinding flash! It blinds, it blinds!'  
  
When Nazza regained his sight, he was tied up to a chair next to Spyro, with eels and baby sharks swimming around them. 'Let us go!' Nazza shouted.  
  
'No!' said Barrelman. 'You wouldn't listen to my villain origin back in the uh, the, the turtle place. So now I will tell you!'  
  
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,' shouted Spyro. 'It's worse than Turquoise-Phoenix's MSTS!'  
  
'Holy crap! It is?'  
  
'Afraid so,' said Barrelman.  
  
'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG(gasp)GGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
  
'Muhahahahahahahahahaha!'  
  
'Hurry up, get the torture over and done with.'  
  
'It all started with a boy...'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'And that's how I was locked up in a barrel, thrown into the ocean and re-emerged as a cranky person who vowed to get his revenge on the world. YES! THAT MEANS YOU!'  
  
He looked over at Nazza and Spyro, who were rocking back and forth, wearing strait-jackets and with maniacal glares on their faces. 'Make it stop! Make it stop!' shouted Nazza.  
  
'Who are you shouting to?' said one of the barrels to Barrelman.  
  
'EVERYONE CAN HEAR ME! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR ALL THAT URINE THAT YOU HAVE DUMPED IN THE SEA!'  
  
'But no one dumps their pee in the ocean.'  
  
'WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DECIDE TO PULL DOWN THEIR FLY AND PISS? HUH? HUH? HUH?'  
  
'I think he's had a little too much red cordial,' said one of the barrels.  
  
'It seems I have defeated them,' said Barrelman, looking at Nazza and Spyro. 'I've been practising.'  
  
Meanwhile, down in the dungeon seven barrels, a squirrelman, Mario and Jack Nicholson were rocking back and forth in strait jackets.  
  
Barrelman laughed as he watched Spyro and Nazza. However, they had a fiendish plan. An evil plan to escape. A Nintendo-y plan.  
  
Nazza jumped, and did that thing Sonic does when he goes Super Saiyan. You know, where he leans backwards and clamps his fists as if he's been hit in the back by a basketball or something.  
  
'Oh no! He's survived!' Nazza shot at Barrelman at super speed.  
  
'His insanity has only made him stronger!' shouted one of the barrels, one split second before Nazza flew straight through him, reducing the barrel to splinters.  
  
'NOOOOOO!' shouted Barrelman. Nazza rammed into him, knocking him through the brick wall and out into the almighty abyss. Also known as, the place outside of the level that Sony couldn't be bothered getting rid of.  
  
'Bye bye!' said Nazza. He swam back into the mansion, and untied Spyro. For some reason the eels and sharks had disappeared. Maybe it was something to do with all the water being sucked out through the hole in the level.  
  
Maybe.  
  
And so they left the mansion, and though all the water had gone, and all the seahorses died of suffocation, they had defeated Barrelman. And they found a key in the toilet bowl.  
  
'Nazza, you shouldn't be trying to get that key out with your teeth,' Spyro had said.  
  
'But the toilet is clean! Plus he flushed before he was killed.' Nazza sniffed a few times. 'Didn't he?'  
  
'Look, just grab it and pull it out!' said Spyro. He reached in and pulled it out.  
  
'Spyro, that's a poo.'  
  
'AAAAARGH!' Spyro threw it.  
  
'Spyro, don't ever throw poo in my face again.'  
  
And so Spyro and Nazza (who had washed his face before they left) exited Aquaria Towers.  
  
===Spyro and Nazza's Journal===  
  
[PAGE 8]  
  
=Aquaria Towers=  
  
Gems: 400  
  
Keys: 4/4  
  
(1) The Guard Barrel  
  
(2) Ninja Barrels  
  
(3) Toilet Bowl  
  
(4) 400 Gems  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next Chapter: Come on down, let's have some fun. No, it's not Whose Line is it Anyway, but a speedway! How fun!  
  
It is advised that you read Turqoise-Phoenix's Spyro meets Nazza MST before you read this chapter.  
  
Nazza: Too late. They already read the chapter.  
  
Oh well.  
  
Disclaimer: Terrence and Philip and the "you're a dick" device belong to South Park, Homer Simpson was known to have quoted this chapter quite a few times in The Simpsons, and Nazza does not hate Turquoise-Phoenix.  
But she ripped the hell out of Nazza the Blue Wolf in the MST. Like they say, don't get mad, get even.  
  
Nazza: Is it even yet?  
  
No. 


	9. Level 8: Ocean Speedway

If you're looking for a less-linear plotline, go read Crash Bandicoot Nazza Style. :P  
  
[CHAPTER 6: OCEAN SPEEDWAY]  
  
'That was fun,' said Nazza.  
  
'Except for the part where I picked up a poo,' said Spyro.  
  
'And the part where you threw the poo at me,' said Nazza.  
  
'And the part where I was kidnapped,' said Spyro.  
  
'And the part where -'  
  
'Stop arguing!' said Elora, who had sneakily snuck up on the two.  
  
'Elora!' said Spyro.  
  
'Hey Nazza,' said Elora. 'Spyro, I need you to help me out.'  
  
'Hang on,' said Spyro, 'where'd Sparx go?'  
  
'I haven't seen him in a while,' said Nazza.  
  
'That's what I need help with,' said Elora. 'Sparx has been kidnapped!'  
  
Nazza cracked up laughing. 'No, really, what do you need help with?'  
  
'I was telling the truth.'  
  
Spyro cracked up laughing. 'Come on Elora, tell us what the problem is.'  
  
'Uh, Spyro, she *is* telling the truth,' said Nazza.  
  
'Oh.'  
  
'I think they might have Sparx captive in the speedway,' said Elora.  
  
'Which speedway?' asked Spyro.  
  
'The Ocean Speedway, of course,' Elora replied.  
  
'Then, by default, we should go there, right?' said Spyro.  
  
'Wha?'  
  
'Never mind.'  
  
Nazza and Spyro walked around till they found the speedway portal. 'This is it,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yeah,' said Nazza. 'How many keys are in the speedway?'  
  
Spyro pulled out the magical journal and flipped through the pages. 'Five.'  
  
The two walked through the portal, and arrived on the speedway grandstand. 'Hello Spyro,' said one of the seahorses at the stand.  
  
'Would you happen to know where any keys are?' Spyro asked.  
  
'Yeah,' said the seahorse. 'There are quite a few tasks that need to be taken care of here.'  
  
'What are they?'  
  
'Not telling.'  
  
'Come on,' said Spyro, 'don't be childish.'  
  
'I'm not childish!'  
  
'You are too!'  
  
'Am not!' The seahorse stuck his tongue out. 'Anyway, you need to find other people to do the tasks for the keys. I don't have no keys.'  
  
'Sure you don't...' said Nazza.  
  
'Oh, and who's this, Mister...Big Shot...wolf...guy?'  
  
'His name's Nazza,' said Spyro.  
  
'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.'  
  
'He is.'  
  
'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.'  
  
'You know what? You're an idiot.'  
  
'Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.'  
  
'Let's go find someone else who's smarter,' said Spyro. 'We'll be back to kill you later.'  
  
'Oh, and on the way home could you get some bread please?'  
  
'Uh......suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.'  
  
Spyro flew off, and then realised that Nazza couldn't fly. He tried ignoring him, but the barking echoed throughout the whole...uh...place.  
  
'Damn dog, can't I do something on my own for once?' He turned around and landed. 'How am I going to do this when you can't fly?'  
  
'I can hold onto your belly!'  
  
Spyro sighed. Nazza grabbed onto Spyro's belly, and they flew off.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
They landed on one of those buildings coming out of the ocean. There weren't many, so they decided to land on this one.  
  
'Hey look,' said Spyro, 'there's a note.' He picked it up and handed it to Nazza.  
  
'You want me to read it?'  
  
'Yeah.'  
  
'You lazy little bugger. Or...can't you read?' Nazza joked.  
  
'No......' said Spyro. It echoed throughout the speedway.  
  
'Very funny,' said Nazza. 'Okay. The note says if we want to see Sparx alive again, we have to go kidnap one of those funny sea-horse things. If we want to see him alive and keep him alive, we have to kidnap two. If we want to see him alive, keep him alive and get some keys, we have to do five things and kidnap the two sea-horse things.'  
  
'Riiiiiight,' said Spyro.  
  
'What should we do first?'  
  
'Well, what are the five things?' Spyro asked.  
  
'Kidnap a seahorse-thing, kidnap another sea-horse thing, take them to the secret base, fight a bear that somehow got in and defeat Sparx's guards.'  
  
'That makes sense,' said Spyro.  
  
'No it doesn't! Why do you say stupid things?'  
  
'I wasn't being stupid, I just said it makes sense.'  
  
'Oh, I thought you said something else.'  
  
The two conspired on how to kidnap the seahorses.  
  
'We'll need some rope,' said Spyro. 'And some Pepsi.'  
  
'Pepsi? Why would we need Pepsi?'  
  
'Kidnappings make you thirsty. Believe me, I've done it before.' He closed his eyes and remembered.  
  
Nazza stared at Spyro as he began making weird noises. 'Uh, Spyro, you okay?'  
  
'Yeah. Just remembering something that happened between me and Elora.'  
  
'I don't think I want to know.'  
  
==IN SPYRO'S BRAIN==  
  
-A Long Time Ago-  
  
'I know what we could do!' said Elora.  
  
'What?' asked Spyro.  
  
'We could make weird noises!'  
  
==MEANWHILE==  
  
'Where are we going to get some rope?'  
  
Spyro pulled some rope from his invisible backpack. 'Tada!'  
  
'Now,' said Nazza, 'I've figured out a way to do it. You tie up the seahorse, while I stand and watch.'  
  
'I have a better idea,' said Spyro. 'You can distract the seahorse, and then I tie it up and take it away.'  
  
'Aww, but I liked my plan better!'  
  
'Shut up.'  
  
'Yes sir.'  
  
The two flew over to a lone seahorse, which was standing alone, looking all lonely. 'Why...hello?' said Nazza.  
  
'What do you want?' said the miserable seahorse miserably.  
  
'Why...yes?'  
  
'You make no sense!'  
  
'I'm a dog, that's my job!'  
  
'Right,' said the seahorse. 'Maybe you should just go away before I kill you.'  
  
'You can't kill me!' said Nazza. 'I'm SUPAHFLY!'  
  
The seahorse began walking...or should I say moving its fin...backwards, when Nazza stuck his foot out. The seahorse fell, and Spyro leapt onto him, tying him up.  
  
'What did I ever do to you!' said the seahorse as they dragged him off to a place they had found. They could keep him there and he couldn't escape.  
  
No, they didn't take him to school, they took him to a secret hideout.  
  
'Now for number two!' said Spyro.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Hello, seahorse,' said Nazza.  
  
'I'm not a seahorse, I'm a jellyfish. The seahorses are over there.' It pointed Nazza in the right direction.  
  
'Thanks.' Nazza motioned for Spyro, who was about to lassoo the jellyfish, and they flew over to where the seahorses were.  
  
'You can drop me down now,' he said as they hovered up in the air.  
  
'Oh, right.' Spyro dropped him, and he landed with a thud on the ground.  
  
'Ouch.' He dusted himself off and walked over to a seahorse. 'Hello.'  
  
'What do you want? I'm in a bad mood!'  
  
'You think *I'm* in a *good* mood?' said Nazza angrily.  
  
'Well...yeah.'  
  
'Wow, how'd you guess?'  
  
The seahorse shook his head, and under his breath said 'Idiot.'  
  
Spyro pushed the seahorse, knocking him over. They tied him up so he couldn't move, and Nazza laughed. 'Idiot.'  
  
Spyro, Nazza and the seahorse flew back to their hidden hideout. 'Now we need to find the secret base,' said Spyro. He turned to see Nazza eating a mousse.  
  
'Not now, I'm hungry.' He took a spoonful of the mousse.  
  
'Uh, that's the stuff you put in your hair.'  
  
Nazza looked at the mousse, then at his spoon, then back to the mousse, then shrugged and kept on eating.  
  
'I know where the secret base is,' said one of the seahorses, who was tied up to a chair and was wearing a bag filled with water over its head so it wouldn't drown.  
  
'Really?' said Spyro.  
  
'No, I was just lying.'  
  
'Damn you Modest Mel,' said the other seahorse.  
  
'My name's Honest Hal,' said the lying seahorse. '*You're* Modest Mel.'  
  
'Aww, shucks.'  
  
Spyro and Nazza thought about this for quite a while, and came to a conclusion.  
  
'We're not going to find this secret base any time soon.'  
  
'Oh well.' Nazza shrugged and went back to sucking gel out of a little tube.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro had flown around for a long time, but he couldn't find any secret bases.  
  
'I can't find any secret bases,' said Spyro to Nazza as he landed in the secret hideout. 'And I've been looking for nearly a day!'  
  
'Two hours,' Nazza corrected.  
  
'My point is, I've been looking my butt off while you've been sitting here doing nothing!'  
  
'I haven't been sitting here doing nothing,' said Nazza. 'I've been sitting here eating hair products.'  
  
'Well could you at least think about where the secret base might be?'  
  
'It might be in here,' Nazza replied.  
  
'He's been eating too much mousse,' said Honest Hal.  
  
'Hang on!' said Spyro. 'He might be right!'  
  
'Maybe there's a switch on the walls or something,' said Nazza.  
  
'Yeah, that might work,' said Spyro. 'Like if you touch a certain part of the wall, it'll reveal the hidden base.'  
  
The seahorses fell over.  
  
And hit the part of the wall that reveals the hidden base.  
  
Spyro watched as the back wall (the one opposite the open space where they got in and out of their secret hideout) slowly rose to reveal a dark corridor. 'Come here, doggy.'  
  
'Not now, I haven't finished with the hairspray yet.'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spyro and Nazza walked down the dark corridor, dragging a seahorse each. 'How come we didn't think of this before?' Nazza asked.  
  
'Coz you're stupid,' said Spyro.  
  
'Hey! I'm not stupid!' said Nazza.  
  
'Are too!'  
  
'Am not!'  
  
'Are too!'  
  
'Who...uh...what have I done lately...' Nazza tried to remember something that he had done with Spyro that had benefited them both. 'Getting a high score on Snake II is good, isn't it?'  
  
'How high was the score?' asked Spyro.  
  
'Seven-hundred and seventeen!' said Nazza, smiling rather evilly for a dog.  
  
'Bah, I can get higher than that,' said Spyro.  
  
'What's your high score?' Nazza asked.  
  
'Five thousand!' said Spyro proudly. He produced his mobile phone and waved it about. Nazza snatched it out of his hand, and opened Snake II.  
  
'Ha!' said Nazza. 'Your high score is fifty!'  
  
'It's not my fault I can't play it at high speeds!' said Spyro defensively. 'Besides, these paws aren't designed for playing Snake.'  
  
'My paws are exactly the same as your paws,' stated Nazza.  
  
'Yeah, but...your paws...your paws...your paws are radioactive!'  
  
'Are not!'  
  
'Am too!'  
  
'Are not!'  
  
'Am too!'  
  
'Uh, shouldn't we get going?' said Honest Hal.  
  
'I'm too busy playing Snake,' said Nazza.  
  
==FIVE MINUTES LATER==  
  
'Nazza, can we go now?'  
  
'GOD DAMMIT!' shouted Nazza. 'Thanks a lot, Spyro! I had 576 points and you ruined it!'  
  
'Hey, you've played it on my phone!' said Spyro. 'Finally, a high score that I can pass off as my own, without having to prove my lack of skill!'  
  
==TEN MINUTES LATER==  
  
'Nazza, I really think it's time we left now.'  
  
'Okay.' Nazza reached out to hand the phone back to Spyro, when suddenly one of the seahorses kicked it.  
  
Spyro watched as the phone flipped around in slow-mo, hit the wall and smashed into several pieces, which then set on fire. 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'  
  
'Oh well,' said Nazza. 'Let's go now.'  
  
==FIVE MORE MINUTES LATER==  
  
'Come on, Spyro. We need to rescue Sparx. Don't you want to see Sparx again?'  
  
Spyro stacked all the burnt pieces up, wiping a tear or seven from his eye. 'May it rest in peace.' He wrote "Spyro's Shrine" in the dirt, then stood up. 'Now it's personal.'  
  
'Dude, it was personal when they kidnapped your friend Sparx. Besides, it wasn't the enemy that broke your phone. It was the fishes.'  
  
'Did I say the fishes was *friends*?' said Spyro.  
  
'No...but...look, let's just get this over and done with.'  
  
'Okay.'  
  
They continued down the path until they reached a long, wide hall. There was a marble path to a large throne, with green lava around and underneath. There were several other paths leading off into other rooms.  
  
On this big throne was a large monkey.  
  
'Welcome to my kingdom,' boomed the large monkey.  
  
'Uh, hello,' said Spyro. 'We've come to deliver the seahorses.'  
  
'Ah, yes,' boomed the large monkey. It stood up, stomped over to Nazza and Spyro, and picked them up. He stomped back over to his throne, chucked the seahorses in the air, opened his mouth and swallowed them whole.  
  
'Uh, now can we have a key or two?'  
  
=============================1 Key(s) Found==============================  
  
==============================2 Keys Found===============================  
  
'Whoa!' said Spyro. 'I'm freaking out here, two in a row!'  
  
Suddenly the two were teleported to a strange room. It resembled a cave; that was because it was a cave. There was a lone cage in the middle, which held Sparx captive.  
  
'Sparx!' shouted Spyro. 'How great to see you!'  
  
Sparx buzzed happily.  
  
'Fine then, don't be happy to see me,' said Spyro. 'But who's the one in the cage?'  
  
Suddenly guards appeared out of nowhere. 'Uh-oh,' said Nazza. 'Time for split-screen.'  
  
'Split-screen?'  
  
'Yes.'  
  
=SPLIT SCREEN=  
  
-NAZZA-  
  
Five guards appeared out of nowhere. Nazza jumped into the air, flew towards one, and kicked it. He bounced off that guard and kicked another guard. He bounced off that guard and spun around, kicking the other five guards.  
  
-SPYRO-  
  
Spyro watched as Nazza kicked the guards.  
  
=END SPLIT SCREEN=  
  
'Well, that was...interesting,' said Spyro.  
  
'Hang on!' said Nazza. 'There's still more guards to come!'  
  
=SPLIT SCREEN=  
  
-NAZZA-  
  
Five more guards appeared out of nowhere. Nazza kung-fu fought one, destroyed it, swung his fist upward and hit another one in the face, jumped, spun around in slow-mo while the rest of the world froze, and kicked another guard. He landed, and fell asleep.  
  
-SPYRO-  
  
Spyro watched Nazza kung-fu fighting (HOO!) and turned around to see two guards advancing on him. He shot out flames, which froze in midair like everything else. While Nazza spun around in slow-mo, the scene spun around in slow-mo, showing Spyro's flame. It unfroze, and the flames roasted the guard. He charged at the other guard, killed it, then found Nazza had fallen asleep.  
  
=END SPLIT SCREEN=  
  
'That was too easy,' said Spyro. 'Nazza, wake up.'  
  
'Not now,' Nazza mumbled. 'I haven't finished killing Mario yet.'  
  
'Sometimes I wonder what that dog dreams about...'  
  
==NAZZA'S BRAIN==  
  
'Haha!'  
  
Nazza ran around with a flamethrower. 'Come here, Mario!'  
  
'MAMA MIA!' shouted Mario. His funny vacuum from Mario Sunshine was no match for Nazza's flamethrower.  
  
Suddenly God appeared in the clouds. 'Nazza, wake up.'  
  
'Not now, I haven't finished killing Mario yet.'  
  
Nazza shot at Mario and roasted him. 'I'm done.'  
  
Suddenly Nazza woke up. 'Where are we?' he wondered.  
  
'In the room that Sparx is being held captive,' said Spyro.  
  
Nazza stood up. 'Oh yeah.' He ran up to Sparx's cage, opened it and Sparx buzzed happily. 'What did he say, Spyro?'  
  
'He says you can shove it up your butt.'  
  
'Okay.' Nazza grabbed the cage, but was stopped when he heard something. 'Remember the bear I told you about?'  
  
'Yeah.'  
  
'It's in here.'  
  
Suddenly God's face appeared. 'I forgot to give you this.'  
  
==============================3 Keys Found===============================  
  
'Thanks, God!' said Spyro.  
  
Suddenly a grizzly bear entered the room, kicking down a bit of cave - which was actually just cardboard.  
  
'ROAR!' said the bear.  
  
'Uh-oh,' said Nazza.  
  
'Split screen, split screen!' said Spyro like a little kid.  
  
'Not now,' said Nazza. 'This time it's business.'  
  
'Which means...?'  
  
'It's business.'  
  
'...Riiiiiight...'  
  
Sparx flew over to the bear, sneezed, and suddenly the bear began melting. It melted into a little puddle.  
  
'Well whaddayaknow, Sparx's sneeze is acidic.'  
  
Sparx, Nazza and Spyro walked out the cardboard hole the bear had made and into that big hale with the giant monkey.  
  
'Thanks for killing the bear,' boomed the monkey. 'For that you get a key.'  
  
==============================4 Keys Found===============================  
  
'Now, you must die.'  
  
Suddenly ravaged wolves ran out, and growled. Nazza and Spyro turned and ran...  
  
===Spyro and Nazza's Journal===  
  
[PAGE 9]  
  
=Ocean Speedway=  
  
Gems: 0/0  
  
Keys: 4/5  
  
(1) Let Monkey Eat Honest Hal  
  
(2) Let Monkey Eat Modest Mel  
  
(3) Split-Screen of Doom  
  
(4) Bear Meltdown  
  
(5) ------  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next Chapter: Why ruin it for you by saying that Nazza and Spyro get ripped to shreds by wolves. I mean, you'd have to be really stupid to reveal the plot of the next...oh f(Mario).  
  
:P  
  
As for that MST, it can be found on this really cool site: www.sitefights.com/community/fantasy/turquoisephoenix  
  
More split-screen mayhem in the next episode of Dragonball Spyro-Nazza-Style! 


	10. You are Terminated

IN THE LAST EPISODE OF DRAGONBALL Z!  
  
"Boo like explosion! BOOM!"  
  
"Another villain that claims to be the most powerful being in the universe."  
  
"Hey Trunks, how come you could easily defeat what was back then the most powerful being in the universe, but you couldn't defeat a bunch of robots?"  
  
"Hmmm..."  
  
"Shut up! It's not my fault!"  
  
[CHAPTER 6: YOU ARE TERMINATED]  
  
=Previously on 24=  
  
-ELORA-  
  
'Stop arguing!  
  
'Elora!' said Spyro.  
  
'Hey Nazza,' said Elora. 'Spyro, I need you to help me out.'  
  
'Hang on,' said Spyro, 'where'd Sparx go?'  
  
'That's what I need help with. Sparx has been kidnapped!'  
  
Nazza cracked up laughing. 'No, really, what do you need help with?'  
  
'I was telling the truth.'  
  
Spyro cracked up laughing. 'Come on Elora, tell us what the problem is.'  
  
'Uh, Spyro, she *is* telling the truth.'  
  
-NAZZA-  
  
'Not now, I'm hungry.' He took a spoonful of the mousse.  
  
'Uh, that's the stuff you put in your hair.'  
  
-NAZZA'S BRAIN-  
  
Suddenly God appeared in the clouds. 'Nazza, wake up.'  
  
'Not now, I haven't finished killing Mario yet.'  
  
-SPARX-  
  
'What did he say, Spyro?'  
  
'He says you can shove it up your butt.'  
  
-BEAR-  
  
Suddenly a grizzly bear entered the room, kicking down a bit of cave - which was actually just cardboard.  
  
-RAVAGED WOLVES-  
  
Suddenly ravaged wolves ran out, and growled. Nazza and Spyro turned and ran...  
  
[CHAPTER 10: YOU ARE TERMINATED]  
  
'Check.'  
  
Hunter examined the chessboard. He saw an opening, and took it. 'Checkmate.'  
  
Elora realised Hunter hadn't moved his king and took it out. 'I win.'  
  
'Damn, how do you do that?'  
  
They sat there for a while. Hunter sighed.  
  
'Hey,' said Elora, 'did you just hear something similar to Spyro screaming?'  
  
'No.'  
  
===  
  
Spyro, still screaming, charged up the dark rocky path, followed by Nazza and Sparx.  
  
'Sparx, can't you shoot your acid-saliva at the dogs?' said Nazza.  
  
'No use,' said Spyro. 'He only shoots acid-saliva when he needs to sneeze. I don't think we have a pepper-shaker or a dust-covered dog anywhere near us.'  
  
Suddenly a chunk of roof fell onto Nazza, covering him with dust.  
  
'Oh well,' said Nazza. 'We'll just have to get eaten by rabid wolves.'  
  
Spyro charged, broke open a door out of the hidden base (which was strange since there wasn't a door there to begin with) and flew out into the air of the Ocean Speedway.  
  
Nazza leapt, held his breath and closed his eyes. Suddenly he realised he wasn't falling at all.  
  
'Wow! I'm flying! I'm flying!'  
  
He then heard a buzzing noise. He turned his head and saw Sparx. 'Wow! Sparx is carrying me!'  
  
Nazza, Sparx and Spyro turned around to watch the rabid wolves fall to their deaths in the ocean.  
  
===  
  
'Checkmate.'  
  
Elora took out Hunter's king. 'I win.'  
  
'That's the seventh time you've beat me!' said Hunter. 'How do you do it?'  
  
Nazza, Spyro and Sparx appeared out of one of the portals and began panting heavily. 'Hey, Spyro! Nazza! You found Sparx!'  
  
'Yeah,' panted Nazza, 'but we nearly got killed.'  
  
'How come?' Elora wondered.  
  
'We were attacked by a bear,' said Spyro, 'and then a giant monkey set some savage wolves onto us.'  
  
Hunter spun his finger around his ear, doing the cuckoo-sign.  
  
'We're telling the truth!' said Nazza. 'Even ask Sparx!'  
  
'No one understands Sparx,' said Elora. 'What gave you the impression that he talked?'  
  
==FLASHBACK==  
  
He ran up to Sparx's cage, opened it and Sparx buzzed happily. 'What did he say, Spyro?'  
  
'He says you can shove it up your butt.'  
  
==END FLASHBACK==  
  
Spyro chuckled nervously and smiled sheepishly as Nazza turned to stare at him.  
  
'Well, you're safe now,' said Elora. 'Have you got all the keys?'  
  
'Yeah,' said Spyro. He pulled out the magic journal, then slapped his forehead.  
  
'What did you do this time,' said Hunter.  
  
'We forgot to get the last key!' said Spyro.  
  
'You'd better go back and get it then,' Elora decided.  
  
'But the giant monkey might set the wolves on us again!' said Nazza.  
  
'Okay then,' said Elora huffily. 'Hunter and I will go get the key.'  
  
'Fine with us,' said Nazza.  
  
'Speak for yourself, dog,' said Spyro. He turned to Elora and Hunter. 'I'm fine with it.'  
  
Elora growled angrily, making both Hunter and Nazza jump back.  
  
'You get used to it,' Spyro whispered to the blue wolf as Elora left with Hunter following. 'She does it a lot in bed.'  
  
Nazza stared quizzically at Spyro as a broad smile came across his face. Suddenly he was in a different place...  
  
==IN SPYRO'S BRAIN==  
  
Elora growled angrily. Spyro watched as a lump in the bed sheets emerged to reveal it was Elora. 'Why can't I find those bedmites? I knew it was a bad idea the minute I laid eyes on Hunter...'  
  
'You've been sleeping with Hunter?' Spyro asked.  
  
'No way,' said Elora. 'You're the only guy I'd sleep with.'  
  
'Aww, shucks,' said Spyro, smiling embarrassed-ly.  
  
'I was joking, Spyro.'  
  
==IN THE REAL WORLD==  
  
'Uh, so was I,' said Spyro. Then he realised he was back with Nazza, standing near the Ocean Speedway portal.  
  
'Whatever,' said Nazza. 'What do we do till they get back?'  
  
'Sit back and relax,' said Spyro. The two laid down on the grass when suddenly the place felt a lot colder.  
  
'What's that?' Nazza asked.  
  
'Probably nothing,' Spyro replied and went back to sleep. Suddenly the sky grew dark, rainclouds appearing out of nowhere. Nazza shivered, as the place grew colder and colder. He suddenly felt really strange, like all the happiness had been sucked out of him.  
  
'Uh, Spyro, I think you should see this...'  
  
Nazza shook Spyro with both paws but Spyro just ignored him. He was on his own...  
  
'SPYRO! WAKE UP!'  
  
'What?!' said Spyro angrily, sitting up. 'I wanna get my beauty slee - uh-oh.'  
  
The two looked up at the person standing in front of them. The cold seemed to come straight out of this person, and they suddenly felt as if the world was about to end.  
  
A figure cloaked in black held out a bony hand...  
  
===  
  
Hunter and Elora arrived at a house which was on top of one of those towers coming out of the water of Ocean Speedway.  
  
'I'll knock on the door,' said Elora. But before she could Hunter had already knocked on the door.  
  
The door was answered by a black man. 'Come in, come in.' Elora was about to ask him about any keys when suddenly her and Hunter were dragged into the man's house.  
  
'Uh, do you know anything about these keys?'  
  
He pulled out a pad and started writing. 'Number nine, makes us do stupid things!'  
  
'Uh, excuse me -'  
  
'Shut up, Lookdammit. Jesus Christ, stop clawing up the sofa.'  
  
'Sorry,' said Hunter.  
  
'Lookdammit, stop going on about keys.'  
  
'My name isn't Lookdammit -'  
  
'Shut up. Jesus Christ, let me talk.'  
  
'I'm Jesus Christ,' said Hunter.  
  
===  
  
'Who - who - who are you?' Spyro stuttered.  
  
'I...' boomed the cloaked figure. 'Am...'  
  
'Hurry up, hurry up, we don't have all day!'  
  
'I...am...here...to...kill...you...'  
  
'Please don't kill me!' said Nazza. 'Don't be cold-blooded!' Suddenly he pointed to Spyro. 'Kill him! He's cold-blooded!'  
  
Spyro shot out flames and suddenly Nazza was a dog covered in charcoal.  
  
'I...first...need...to...experiment...'  
  
'Are - are you a Dementor?' Spyro asked.  
  
'No...'  
  
'What's your name then?'  
  
'I...am...known...as...'  
  
'...'  
  
The two sat in silence as the rainclouds swirled up above.  
  
'I...am...Da Dark One...'  
  
===  
  
'God, *Bill Cosby* is more entertaining than this...' said Elora with a sigh.  
  
'You shut up, Lookdammit! I'll have you know my name's Bill Cosby!'  
  
'Aargh!' shouted Hunter and Elora simultaneously. Hunter stopped clawing the furniture, and the two ran as fast as they could.  
  
'Hmm, they're a mile away and they have my shoes.'  
  
===  
  
Da Dark One reached out and grabbed Spyro with one hand, and Nazza with the other.  
  
'Well, he's not the Grim Reaper,' said Nazza. 'If he was we'd be dead.'  
  
'I'm going to try to send some of my men - err, guys to help me,' Spyro whispered.  
  
'Your men are already dead.'  
  
===  
  
'That was close,' said Hunter as he approached the end-level portal.  
  
'Yeah,' Elora replied. 'That guy was a total psycho!'  
  
They were about to return to Summer Forest when a small white dragon appeared.  
  
'Who are you?' Elora asked.  
  
'You better not be Billy Cosby...'  
  
'I'm Snowflake,' said the dragon. 'Have you heard of a Gigas crystal?'  
  
'A giga-what?'  
  
'It's this crystal,' said Snowflake. 'Kinda hard to explain.'  
  
'Err - sorry, we need to leave,' said Hunter suddenly. 'Bye!'  
  
Hunter took off through thin air, dragging Elora along with him. 'Strange,' said Snowflake. 'The exit's behind me.'  
  
===  
  
Spyro watched as vultures circled the dark sky above.  
  
'Say, that's a nice boik,' said Da Dark One suddenly.  
  
'Huh?' said Spyro.  
  
Nazza's eyes suddenly lit up. 'That's the exact same line Robert Patrick says when he meets the cop after chasing someone out of a mental asylum!'  
  
'And that means...?'  
  
'That's what the bad guy says in Terminator 2 Judgement Day.'  
  
'And that means...?'  
  
'I'll bet this guy's just a robot!' Nazza scratched at Da Dark One's face, to no avail. 'Oh well, so much for that idea.'  
  
Spyro squirmed, screaming 'No! God no! He'll kill us all!!!' for no apparent reason. This only made Nazza even more confused than before.  
  
'What's your plan, Das Dorken Ein?' said Nazza.  
  
'Huh?'  
  
'It's German for Da Dork One.'  
  
'And that means...?'  
  
'Just shut up, Dark One, and do whatever you're gonna do.'  
  
'Affirmative.'  
  
'You don't say affirmative or some shit like that, you say "no problemo". And if you really wanna shine them, try "Hasta la vista, baby".'  
  
'Nazza, what the heck are you talking about?'  
  
'I'm trying to confuse him,' Nazza whispered.  
  
'No you're not! You're just reliving your memories of Terminator 2!'  
  
'True, true.'  
  
'WASSUUUUUUUUUUUUP!'  
  
This last phrase (or word), spoken by Da Dark One, scared the heck out of everyone within a ten mile radius.  
  
===  
  
'What'd you do that for?' Elora asked.  
  
'Do you know who that is?'  
  
'Yeah, why -'  
  
'That is the ultimate evil,' Hunter said. 'Also known as Snowflake.'  
  
'She's not evil -'  
  
'You don't know the half of it,' Hunter replied.  
  
=FLASHBACK=  
  
'Hey, can you give me thirty cents?'  
  
'Nope.'  
  
'What about some of those delicious Doritos?'  
  
'Nope.'  
  
Hunter stared angrily at her. 'GIVE ME FOOD!'  
  
'No, you crazed homeless man.'  
  
=END FLASHBACK=  
  
'She called me a homeless man!'  
  
'Well,' said Elora, 'technically you *are* homeless -'  
  
'She thinks I'm a man! The nerve of some people...'  
  
===  
  
'Well, are we just going to stand here all day?'  
  
Da Dark One didn't reply.  
  
'I think he's asleep,' said Spyro, who was now observing those vultures for lack of anything else to do.  
  
'Wake him up then,' said Nazza.  
  
'I'm not gonna wake him up,' said Spyro. 'You wake him up.'  
  
'No you wake him up!'  
  
'No you wake him up -'  
  
'No you wake him up!'  
  
'No you wake him up -'  
  
'No you wake him up!'  
  
'No you wake him up -'  
  
'SHUT UP!'  
  
'He's awake now.'  
  
===  
  
'Snowflake's not that bad,' said Elora. 'It's not like she's evil or anything.'  
  
'Do you think being sent back in time to assassinate the president, the navy and Spyro is evil?'  
  
'Yeah, but -'  
  
'That's what Snowflake's gonna do! Luckily the navy's located in the Ocean Speedway - uh-oh.'  
  
Snowflake pulled out a rocket launcher, aimed at the navy base and fired.  
  
'Hasta la vista, Navy.'  
  
'Oh my god!' said Elora. 'She *is* evil!'  
  
===  
  
'Why did you wake me?' boomed Da Dark One.  
  
'If we're going to be killed, you could at least be consistent and get the job over and done with,' said Nazza.  
  
'Okay then,' said Da Dark One.  
  
'Great work, Nazza,' said Spyro.  
  
Da Dark One walked toward a portal they'd never seen before, carrying the two captives.  
  
'Could you fill us in maybe?' said Nazza.  
  
'My CPU is a neuro-net processor. A learning machine.'  
  
'Oh no, my obsessive nature towards Terminator has rubbed off on him!'  
  
Spyro rolled his eyes. 'Explain your plan to us, Da Dark One.'  
  
'I have created an inter-dimensional portal to my lab.'  
  
'Lab? More like...something Da Dark One would find insulting,' said Nazza.  
  
'More like a trashcan?'  
  
'No,' said Nazza, 'he lives in one.'  
  
'Say,' said Spyro, 'is your room-mate Oscar the Grouch?'  
  
Nazza and Da Dark One stared at Spyro as if he was a freak.  
  
'You're a freak,' said Da Dark One.  
  
'Anyway,' said Da Dark One, 'in this lab I have invented a machine that will make evil villains and all-round idiots everywhere rejoice.'  
  
'What is this invention?' Nazza said. 'Because if it's soap, someone got there before you.'  
  
'No, it's not soap,' said Da Dark One, 'or any sort of hair product for that matter. It's -'  
  
'Mmm, hair product.'  
  
'Ignore him, he's having a blonde moment,' Spyro stated.  
  
'The invention is...'  
  
'...'  
  
'The invention is...'  
  
'...'  
  
'The invention is...'  
  
'...a STUPID MACHINE!' Nazza interrupted.  
  
'Exactly,' said Da Dark One. 'How'd you guess?'  
  
They went through the portal and into the 'lab'. Trashcan was actually a more accurate guess, as there was no scientific equipment. Nor was there anything, except for a big black machine.  
  
'This, my friends, is the STUPID MACHINE!'  
  
'Hey! We're not your friends!' said Nazza.  
  
'And what does this "stupid machine" do?' Spyro asked.  
  
'It turns anyone who isn't stupid, into someone who is stupid!' announced Da Dark One.  
  
'I can see who he chose for a test-run,' said Spyro.  
  
Da Dark One threw Nazza into the lone seat of the big black machine, and put a headset on his skull. He moved over to the switch, and was about to pull it when...  
  
'You know, it's not really going to have that much effect,' said a familiar female voice.  
  
'Who the hell -'  
  
'Da Dark One, meet Minerva and her sidekick Doomfeather,' Nazza announced.  
  
'Hey! I'm not her sidekick!' said Doomfeather.  
  
'I want to sidekick someone,' said Spyro, who was still in the hand of Da Dark One.  
  
'We have come to rescue you!' announced Doomfeather.  
  
'No idea why,' said Minerva.  
  
'Minerva, I'd kiss you if you weren't my mortal enemy who I despise so very very much!'  
  
Suddenly Spyro was dropped to the ground as Doomfeather pecked the [Mario] out of Da Dark One.  
  
'Doomfeather, I'd kiss you if you weren't a guy!' said Spyro.  
  
Doomfeather shuddered.  
  
'You know, that machine looks pretty neat,' said Nazza. 'Such a pity it has no potential.'  
  
'Hey, that gives me an idea...' said Spyro.  
  
==IN SPYRO'S DEMENTED AND SICK BRAIN==  
  
Spyro pulled the switch. 'Hehehe, burning birdies!'  
  
==OUT OF SPYRO'S DEMENTED AND SICK BRAIN==  
  
'Spyro, there's two problems with that,' Nazza stated. 'One, you don't electricute people who saved your life - or your demented and sick brain, at least. Two, it's not "the chair".'  
  
'No burning birdies?'  
  
'Afraid not.'  
  
'Oh well.'  
  
==IN SPYRO'S DEMENTED AND SICK BRAIN==  
  
'Look Nazza, I found "the chair"! Come here birdies...'  
  
===  
  
'Uh, evil dragon, we were wondering...'  
  
'Yes?' said the dragon.  
  
'Err.' Hunter looked around nervously. 'Do you happen to have any keys?'  
  
'Actually, I found one just before,' said Snowflake. 'But you can't have it unless you do me a favour.'  
  
'What do we have to do?' Elora asked.  
  
'Find Spyro,' said the dragon. 'Bring him to me.'  
  
===  
  
'You can't get away that easily!' boomed Da Dark One.  
  
'I think we can!' said Spyro, pulling out a green machine gun. 'DIE!' A green laser shot out of the machine gun, and Spyro pointed it at Da Dark One.  
  
'No! I'm melting! Melting...'  
  
Spyro put the machine gun away. 'The fun of shooting someone with a pulse rifle.'  
  
'Well, we gotta leave now,' said Doomfeather, flying off.  
  
'Yeah,' said Minerva, who also flew off.  
  
'Hmm, now what do we do?' Spyro asked.  
  
'Spyro!' said a familiar voice. Hunter and Elora had just run up. 'You want the last Speedway key, right?'  
  
'Yeah Elora, why?'  
  
'There's a dragon that will give you the key if you show up,' said Hunter.  
  
'Very well,' said Spyro, 'I'll go. Hey dog! Follow me.' Nazza stopped chasing a lizard and followed Spyro as he entered the Ocean Speedway.  
  
===  
  
'Ah, hello Spyro,' said Snowflake.  
  
'Where's my key!' said Spyro. 'Hand it over.'  
  
'Not so fast,' said Snowflake. 'First I need you to do something.'  
  
'What's that?'  
  
'I need you to assassinate the president.'  
  
'How the hell is he going to do that?' said Nazza, who was dangling below Spyro.  
  
'What the hell are you doing here?' said Snowflake.  
  
'I'm helping Spyro get the keys,' Nazza replied.  
  
'Whatever.'  
  
'I'm not going to assassinate the president,' said Spyro.  
  
'Oh well. Here's the key anyway.'  
  
==============================5 Keys Found===============================  
  
===Spyro and Nazza's Journal===  
  
[PAGE 9]  
  
=Ocean Speedway=  
  
Gems: 0/0  
  
Keys: 5/5  
  
(1) Let Monkey Eat Honest Hal  
  
(2) Let Monkey Eat Modest Mel  
  
(3) Split-Screen of Doom  
  
(4) Bear Meltdown  
  
(5) President Assassination  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next Chapter: Down to Crush's Dungeon! 


	11. Level 9: Crush's Dungeon

DISCLAIMER: Nazza the Blue Wolf is a trademark of the author Nazza/Usage of Nazza the Blue Wolf without express permission is prohibited - Doomfeather is copyrighted to the author TurquoisePhoenix/Usage of Doomfeather without express permission is prohibited, so that means I'm probably prohibited - Hopefully not because it's just a cameo - This piece of fiction is copyrighted the author Nazza - This piece of fiction is not endorsed by Spyro, Universal Studios, Sony Computer Entertainment Europe or Sony - The opinions expressed in this piece of fiction are the opinions of the author and as such should not be taken seriously  
  
Note: Half of this chapter was written at least three months after the first half, so some of the facts might not add up and I may have missed something.  
  
=Spyro Nazza Style=  
  
======by Nazza=====  
  
[CHAPTER 11: CRUSH'S DUNGEON]  
  
Spyro, Nazza, Elora and Hunter gathered together just outside Aquaria Towers. 'You know what sucks?' said Hunter.  
  
'Hunter, this isn't the time,' said Elora. 'We're trying to discuss something.'  
  
'When you get a wedgie that won't seem to come off.'  
  
'Hunter! That's gross!' cried Spyro.  
  
'Yeah, I hate it when that happens,' Nazza replied. 'Only happened once, but it was painful. Damn Mario-supporters, next time I see them I'm gonna -'  
  
'Nazza! Hunter!' said Elora. 'Stop talking for a second!'  
  
The two looked at their shoes with sad faces. As in they had the sad faces, not the shoes.  
  
'You know what'd be cool?' said Hunter. 'If there were shoes that had sad faces -'  
  
Elora growled angrily. 'Hunter, what did I just say?'  
  
'Sorry sir.' Another growl. 'Err, I mean ma'am.'  
  
'Now,' said Elora, 'Spyro, why'd you call us here for a discussion?'  
  
'To discuss,' replied Spyro.  
  
'No, I mean what are we here to discuss?'  
  
'Oh. Well, so far Nazza and I have gotten all the gems and keys for Summer Forest. And while with Nazza, I came down with amnesia.'  
  
'I wonder why,' mumbled Nazza.  
  
'He was talking about you,' Hunter replied.  
  
'I know.'  
  
'Where's Crush's Dungeon again?' Spyro finished.  
  
'I'll take you there,' said Elora. 'But why do you want to go there? It's in a wreck from last time and Crush might not be there.'  
  
'Trust me, he'll be there,' said Spyro.  
  
'Okay then, I trust you. Hunter, you stay here and guard Summer Forest. Nazza, come with us.'  
  
Spyro and Elora walked off, not realising Nazza hadn't heard. He just stayed there, chasing his tail for five minutes.  
  
'Uh, Nazza, they've left without you,' said Hunter.  
  
'Oh well. You live what you learn.'  
  
  
  
'Hey,' said Spyro, as the two arrived at the big wooden door blocking off the hole to Crush's Dungeon, 'where's Nazza?'  
  
'Ah, who cares about him. He's probably sitting with Hunter having a drooling contest.'  
  
'Don't you mean dribbling? And I never knew they played basketball.'  
  
'I'm not talking about basketball,' said Elora.  
  
  
  
'Say,' said Nazza, after five minutes of silence between the two, 'What do you do during the day?'  
  
'Me?' Hunter replied.  
  
'No,' said Nazza sarcastically. 'I'm talking to the magical snail who's sitting in my ear.'  
  
'Wow, can I talk to the snail?'  
  
'Snail? Where?'  
  
  
  
'Wow, that was a refreshing discussion about basketball,' said Elora. 'Now, where were we?'  
  
'You were going to tell me how to open this door to get to Crush.'  
  
'Oh yeah,' said Elora. 'Just wondering, before I open it, why do you think Crush'll be there?'  
  
'I know he'll be there. Ripto is so predictable.'  
  
  
  
Ripto snickered. 'When Spyro comes down here he won't realise Crush is here to kill him! I'll bet he never thought of that!'  
  
  
  
'You know what's cool?' said Nazza.  
  
'What's cool?' asked Hunter.  
  
'Staying up all night,' said Nazza. 'But then I fall asleep at ten AM.'  
  
'Cool!' said Hunter. 'And you know what's cooler than being cool? Ice cold! At least, that's what I heard on this show I was watching once. I think it must've been a musical.'  
  
'Your point being?'  
  
'If staying up all night is cool, then staying up all day must be ice cold!'  
  
'Erm, Hunter? People do it every day. It's a lot easier than staying up all night. Not many people do that every day!'  
  
'No, they don't. They do it every night.'  
  
  
  
'Well, wish me luck,' said Spyro.  
  
'Break a leg!' Elora replied. Spyro then jumped down the hole that led to the dungeon. 'Trusting him, he probably will. Hey! Wait, Spyro! You forgot your parachute!'  
  
  
  
'And in your waiting hands I will lend, and roll out of my skin...'  
  
'Say Nazza, what are you singing?' said Hunter over Nazza's (bad) singing voice.  
  
'...ready to begin,' Nazza finished, although Hunter had interrupted the line of the song before it (and not that the author had forgotten that line and used some excuse). 'Audioslave. It's been stuck in my head for days.'  
  
'You know what we should do?' said Hunter. 'We should go kick some sheep.'  
  
'Sounds like a plan,' Nazza agreed.  
  
  
  
Spyro managed to use those pathetic wings of his to glide down safely to the room below where Crush was waiting in an arena, with Ripto watching from the sidelines. There was a moat of lava dividing the arena from the one-man crowd, but if Spyro wanted he could've used the bridge to get across.  
  
'Haha!' cried Ripto, waving his sceptre wildly. 'I bet you didn't expect to find us down here!'  
  
'Calm down, you're gonna poke someone's eye out with that,' Spyro said. 'Why do I need to fight Crush again?'  
  
'Crush had so much fun last time, he wanted a rematch!' shouted Ripto.  
  
'He had fun being crushed by bits of the unstable roof?' Spyro retorted.  
  
'Ah, err, um, shut up you! If you defeat Crush again I'll let you use the portal to the Autumn Plains.'  
  
'Ah, you're forgetting something short-stuff,' Spyro informed. 'The Autumn Plains and Winter Tundra portals are working fine. In fact, I had a vacation in the Winter Tundra the week before you decided to take over Avalar again.'  
  
'Ah, err, um, I'll be back in a tick.' Spyro watched Ripto waddle out of the arena. His voice echoed from above, 'Don't move!'  
  
  
  
'Here's a nice sheep paddock.'  
  
Hunter and Nazza hid behind some bushes. 'What exactly are we going to do?' asked Nazza.  
  
'Kick the sheep,' Hunter replied. 'Duh.'  
  
'No, I mean if they charge at us, what do we do then?'  
  
'Run,' Hunter replied. 'Duh.'  
  
'What if we can't run fast enough?'  
  
'Get trampled on and eaten,' Hunter replied. 'Duh.'  
  
'I thought goats were the ones who ate stuff...'  
  
Hunter did a quick count of the sheep in his mind. Unfortunately, they kept moving, so he kept miscounting, which meant he had to start over again.  
  
'You know, I don't get sheep. I mean, why do they have all that fur? Are they hiding weapons of mass destruction, or - Hunter! Wake up!'  
  
  
  
'I would be a good guy, but you don't get paid much.'  
  
'You get paid when you're a bad guy?' Spyro queried.  
  
'Oh yeah, Boss always gives me fresh meat, and any sparkly objects he happens to find.'  
  
'Sounds like you got a good deal,' Spyro said.  
  
'Yeah,' said Crush. 'I really enjoy -' At that moment the two heard a DING! Ripto left the elevator and resumed his position at the seat. 'Me crush you good!'  
  
'Ah, see? Crush is enthusiastic about his rematch,' said Ripto. 'You should be too, Spyro.'  
  
'You should be enthusiastic as well, Ripto,' quipped Spyro, 'coz your growth hormones are being delivered.'  
  
'Why you - damn - freakin' - little bas-'  
  
'No, seriously,' said Spyro, 'your growth hormones are being delivered. They should be in your letterbox right...about...now.'  
  
Ripto's and Crush's eyes both widened in amazement. 'How...how did you know that?' Ripto stated in awe.  
  
'I didn't, I was just foolin' with you,' Spyro replied.  
  
Ripto let out a roar. 'Crush! Fight him to the death!'  
  
Crush nodded, indicating he understood. Ripto nodded, indicating he knew Crush's indication. Spyro nodded, just because he felt like it. This bought him some valuable time, which he used to clean his horns and make sure they were at their shiny best.  
  
  
  
'Ready?' said Hunter.  
  
'Ready,' said Nazza.  
  
The two jumped out from behind the bushes and ran for the nearest sheep. 'Hehe, this is fun!' shouted Nazza.  
  
'Yeah, it's one of my favourite hobbies!' said Hunter as he came up alongside one of the sheep and gave it a good kick in the gut. He then did a U-turn and kicked it again. Soon Hunter was so wrapped up in the game he forgot all about his troubles. It was as if he had just smoked some pot (not that he would know), and his high seemed to be lasting forever.  
  
When he finally came down from that high he felt suddenly depressed, and questioned life and its worth. Then he saw what Nazza was doing with the sheep and cried out in disgust. 'Jeez! Put it away!'  
  
  
  
Crush and Spyro sized each other up, stepping in circles around the arena like cowboys in those cowboy movies do. 'Go ahead,' muttered Spyro, 'make my day.'  
  
'No, there's no hay in here,' Ripto replied. 'Just dirt and molten lava.'  
  
Spyro took no notice of his misinterpretation, and Crush simply stood there confused.  
  
'Draw!' cried Ripto.  
  
'I don't have a pencil!' cried Spyro. He turned to face Ripto, just as a laser beam flew past him.  
  
'Aha!' cried Ripto with glee. 'You see, there may be rules against torturing an Avalarian citizen, but there aren't rules against having a quickdraw, old Western style!'  
  
'I get it now!' said Spyro. 'Because you're so short, all the blood goes to your head and makes you think you're good when you're not!'  
  
Ripto gave Spyro the finger. 'Very funny, you're a regular comedian.' He then stared at Crush and made a head-movement at Spyro.  
  
'What's wrong?' said Spyro. 'Got water in your ear?'  
  
Ripto ignored him and continued staring at Crush and making head-movements. Crush, however, was staring down the barrel of his laser gun, curious as to how it worked.  
  
'You know cracking your neck isn't good for you. Neither is cracking your knuckles.'  
  
Ripto sighed, and then yelled 'Crush! Kill him, NOW!'  
  
A laser beam shot past Spyro's nose, only just singeing it. 'Ooh, now it's personal.' Spyro broke out into a run, with Crush firing and always only just missing the dragon's tail. While running around in circles, Spyro decided he needed to come up with a plan. But at the moment all he was doing was making Crush dizzy.  
  
'Hang on a minute, I have an idea...' said Spyro to himself. '...I'll roast Crush's butt!'  
  
  
  
Nazza and Hunter lay down on the grass, staring up at the clouds. 'These clouds look crazy,' said Hunter.  
  
'Uh, that would be because they're not clouds.'  
  
'Well they sure as hell aren't fighter planes!'  
  
One of the fighter planes up in the sky fired, and suddenly enemy planes were falling everywhere. 'They must be the bad guys, because despite the plane only having shot ten bullets there are fifty falling enemy planes,' Nazza observed.  
  
'I know how to fix that,' said Hunter. Out of nowhere he pulled out a huge rocket launcher, known as The Redeemer. Each missile was three feet long and nine inches thick, and luckily, Hunter happened to be carrying one around with him. He pulled the trigger, and the missile flew up into the air and exploded, destroying every plane in sight. The recoil from The Redeemer (Hunter was lying down when he fired it, obviously) sent the cheetah two yards into the ground. 'Ow, my back.'  
  
'Is there a chiropractor in the house?' cried Nazza.  
  
Luckily there was, and they were able to rebuild Hunter's spine. 'Where'd you get a weapon like that anyway?' Nazza asked, as the two lay on the grass watching the clouds.  
  
'I bought it of some guy called Lan, or Xan, or something,' Hunter replied. 'Hey look, it's a vulture!'  
  
'So it is,' Nazza replied. Suddenly, SPLAT!  
  
'Aaaaargh!' cried Hunter in disgust. 'The vulture pooped on me!'  
  
Meanwhile, Doomfeather sniggered to himself. 'I hope Hunter likes my present...'  
  
  
  
After spinning around for a good fifteen minutes, Spyro decided that he would go with his plan. He also decided that if he ever played Pin the Tail on the Donkey with Crush he would have to cheat, as the...whatever he is wasn't dizzy yet.  
  
'Now or never,' Spyro said to himself as he charged directly at Crush. Crush wasn't expecting this, so naturally he aimed the gun at Ripto. This bought Spyro enough time to circle the oaf and aim his blow (no pun intended) carefully. A sneeze later, and Crush was screaming like a little girl.  
  
'No, not the patended Ass Blow!' cried Ripto. 'Crush nearly had you, you stupid dragon, and he would've had his way if it weren't for you meddling kids!'  
  
Spyro rolled his eyes and watched as the two exited the arena. 'You've won this time, but you won't survive our next meeting, Batman!' And Ripto was gone.  
  
'That was too easy,' said Spyro to himself. 'Note to self: always attack the butt.' He looked around, then realised something. 'How am I going to get out of here?'  
  
  
  
As Hunter and Nazza lay down staring at the sky, they noticed some birds that were flying in a weird way. They almost seemed to be spelling out a phrase:

"Happy B'Day TP"  
  
'Happy New Year? What the hell?'  
  
'What are you on about, Hunter? It clearly says "Have a break have a Kitkat".'  
  
  
  
Spyro was about to end his misery and jump into the lava when suddenly a UFO appeared in the sky above him. Also, suddenly all light disappeared (except for the UFO's), and the X-Files music began playing.  
  
Before Spyro could question what was happening, a beam appeared, shining at Spyro. Suddenly he felt himself being lifted, and no matter how hard he tried, the beam would not let go. 'Lousy beam.'  
  
He hoped with all his heart it wasn't the same group of aliens that had tried to probe him last time. He didn't realise he had his eyes shut until he opened them. Instead of seeing the inside of a spaceship, or someone telling him that he was stoned, he found himself in the room with Elora.  
  
'What happened?' Elora asked.  
  
'Well, I defeated Crush,' Spyro said. 'And then I got abducted by aliens...'  
  
'I'm sure,' said Elora. 'Well, you defeated one of Ripto's lackeys, and that's all that counts.'  
  
  
  
The four met up outside the differently-shaped portal that led to Autumn Plains. 'Did you kill the bad guy?' Hunter asked enthusiastically.  
  
'Yeah,' said Spyro, rolling his eyes.  
  
'Hey, I saw that!'  
  
Luckily for Spyro, it was Nazza making faces that Hunter saw.  
  
'What did you guys get up to?' Elora asked.  
  
Hunter was about to make a dirty comment, but he decided not to. 'We kicked a few things, saw something that was strangely like bad ASCII art, destroyed a few planes. Nothing out of the ordinary.'  
  
'Say, Hunter,' said Spyro, 'will you join me on my quest for the keys to unlock Ripto's Castle?'  
  
'Maybe,' said Hunter. 'But not now. I have a Redeemer to play with.' And off the cheetah went.  
  
'How about you, Elora?' Spyro asked.  
  
'Oh, don't be silly. You know I'm supposed to be the one who gets kidnapped. You and Nazza are the adventurers.'  
  
'In bed you're the adventurer,' Spyro retorted.  
  
==IN SPYRO'S BRAIN==  
  
'Look at Elora sleeping,' said Spyro.  
  
'Yeah,' said Hunter. 'She's so...'  
  
'Hot?'  
  
'Sleepy.'  
  
==IN THE REAL WORLD==  
  
So it was that the two adventurers set off on another adventure. Well, first they had something to eat. But then they set off on another adventure.  
  
'Come on Nazza, it's just like any other portal,' Spyro said, trying to convince the dog to jump into it.  
  
'It's not one of those disintegrator things?'  
  
'Nope.'  
  
'Okay then.' Nazza took a step towards the portal, but suddenly!...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
As you may have noticed, this chapter celebrates 100 years of toilet paper! Where would we be without it? :P  
  
In the Next Chapter: I don't know, something's probably gonna happen. Who knows, maybe next time it might be something interesting.


	12. Level 10: Autumn Plains

DISCLAIMER: Nazza the Blue Wolf is a trademark of the author Nazza/Usage of Nazza the Blue Wolf without express permission is prohibited/This fictional work is copyrighted the author Nazza/Any resemblance this story bears with Spyro 2 is purely coincidental/Just kidding 

--Spyro Nazza Style-  
-------by Nazza------

-CHAPTER 12: AUTUMN PLAINS-

Nazza took a step towards the portal, but suddenly!...

'I know a way to see whether or not this is a disintegrator thing!' said Nazza.

Spyro sighed. 'It's a normal portal!'

Nazza walked over to a rock pile, picked up one, walked back to the portal/disintegrator thing and threw it in. 'See! It disintegrated that rock!'

'No it didn't,' Spyro replied.

'Well where is it then?' Nazza crossed his arms and sneezed in triumph.

'It's on the other side of the portal, dummy,' Spyro stated.

'Prove it.'

'Okay then.' Spyro jumped into the portal.

'Oh no! He killed himself! He would rather die than admit he was wrong.'

Two seconds later Spyro reappeared, spitting the rock out of his mouth. 'There's your proof.'

'Aargh! Spyro's ghost has come back to haunt me!'

'You idiot.'

* * *

The two eventually arrived in Autumn Plains, right in front of the pool. 'Ooh! Can we go for a swim?' asked Nazza. 

'How about you go for a swim, and I'll go look for the keys.'

'Okay!'

Nazza jumped into the pool and began doggy-paddling, while Spyro ran off into the distance.

'Hey wait! I don't know how to swim!'

Spyro decided to head over to the giant castle. He figured that since the majority of portals were there the majority of keys and gems would be there.

'Now how did I climb up this wall before?' Spyro wondered. Then he remembered the ancient art of walljitsu that was taught to him by Moneybags, and began climbing.

'This is a lot higher than I remember it,' he exclaimed as he finally reached the top. Then he realised he'd climbed all the way to the top of the castle, and was standing fifteen feet above the hall he was supposed to be at.

After he'd glided back down to where he should be, he began walking through the halls. 'Ah, this brings back memories.'

--SPYRO'S MEMORIES--

Spyro walked through the hall of the giant castle. 'One day I'm going to walk through here and get a feeling of deja vu.'

--NOT SPYRO'S MEMORIES--

'Hey wait, I've never been here before.'

Nazza had been wandering, and had come across a marble structure. It had a ramp swirling around it, so naturally he walked up the ramp. At the top of the pegola he found a portal that wasn't working, and guess who was standing next to it.

No, it wasn't Adam Sandler.

It was Moneybags.

'Moneybags!' Nazza gasped.

'That's me,' said Moneybags.

'Let me guess, I have to pay you before you'll make this portal work?'

'How'd you know?' Moneybags replied.

Nazza rolled his eyes.

'Well, where's the cash?' Moneybags asked, his hand making the moolah sign.

'So sorry,' he said sarcastically, 'but I can't pay you.'

'WHY NOT! Don't tell me you've spent it all on gambling!'

'No,' Nazza said, 'the reason I can't pay you is because...'

Moneybags listened intently with a frightened look on his face.

'Spyro's the one with all the cash, and as you can see he's not here.'

'Oh no! He's passed away!'

'You idiot.' Nazza jumped back down to the ground, and sat around trying to think of a way to get the portal open.

* * *

Spyro came to the halfway mark of the hall and stopped to look out the windows. Then he remembered it was just boring sky, and turned around. 

'Hey, what's the deal with that crack in the wall?' Spyro approached the wall and tapped at the crack. A tiny bit of wall was dislodged and fell to the ground. 'I bet I could break this wall. Nevermind the risk that it's holding up the entire castle and that breaking it could make the whole thing collapse.' Spyro backed up as far as he could go without falling to his death out a window, then charged full-bore at the wall.

He backed up, and noticed it hadn't fallen. 'Damn,' he said. 'Maybe I didn't charge hard enough.' He backed up and was getting ready to charge again when the crack suddenly started getting bigger. 'Here we go!' said Spyro as the crack turned into several cracks, and eventually the wall was just bits of rubble yet to fall.

'Now all I have to do is wait for it to fall apart.'

* * *

Nazza encircled the pegola, looking for anything that could be interfering with the portal. He found nothing. 

'Maybe he's using a frequency jammer,' Nazza decided, and went wandering around looking for a place where said frequency jammer might be hidden.

He continued wandering for several hours, not knowing the logistics behind the portal nor anything of use. 'Oh well, I give up,' said Nazza, and he jumped head first into the pool...

'It's not falling apart!' Spyro growled exasperatedly. He shot out a flame in annoyance, and was about to charge at the wall one last time when it finally collapsed.

'Hey, there's something shiny in the rubble.' Spyro reached in, and pulled out...

-----------------------------1 Candy Wrapper(s) Found-----------------------------

'Sweet.'

* * *

Moneybags sighed. 'I wish I hadn't spent all my money on gambling. I guess I _do_ have an addiction. Wait, no I don't.'

* * *

Spyro picked up the key he'd found in the rubble, put the candy wrapper in his pocket, and stepped over what was left of the wall. 'Wow, a new hall. I wonder how old this is...' 

At the end of the hall was a very strong updraft. It was so strong that it shot Spyro up onto the roof of the castle. 'Hey, wasn't I here before? Feels like deja vu.' He then realised he wasn't alone.

'Welcome back, Mr Anderson,' said a voice. 'We missed you.'

Spyro turned around to find himself face to face with...

No, not Adam Sandler.

He found himself face to face with Hugo Weaving!

Spyro gasped. 'How did you know my last name?'

'I know everything. Me, me, me. Me too.'

Spyro ignored his schizophrenic tendencies. 'Why are you here?'

'I am here because I have a purpose. Without purpose there is no life. I -'

'I didn't want your life story,' said Spyro. 'Obviously you're here because your "purpose" is to do something to help me get a key.'

'Key?' said Hugo. 'You need to visit the keymaker.'

'Okay, this is just getting boring.' Spyro charged at Hugo, who didn't know what was happening until it was too late. He was bumped off the top of the castle, and fell to his grisly death.

'Hey look, he left behind a key.'

* * *

Spyro looked out over the edge of the castle, and saw the wall that separated land from the strange mist of death. 'Hey, I bet no one's ever walked on that wall,' he said, so he glided down and landed on the wall. 

'Now, for no reason, I'm going to charge along the wall.' And charge he did. He charged until he reached the other side of the wall, which ended when it met the castle. Unfortunately he didn't notice that the part of the wall he was about to run into was also cracked and about to break.

By the time he'd hit the wall and shattered it he'd noticed it. And he also noticed the sparkly thing in the small room beyond the wall. He ran in, grabbed it, and then ran out just before the side of the castle collapsed.

Spyro leapt down and watched as the top half of the castle broke off and fell into the mist. 'Well, can't say I've seen that every day.' He turned around, and gasped in shock. He saw...

No, not Adam Sandler.

He saw Nazza. Floating. Upside down. In the pool.

'Oh no! He's dead! He's dead and it's all my fault! Or partly my fault! Or not my fault!'

Nazza looked up and said, 'What? You finally killed Moneybags?'

'You're alive!' Spyro cried, jumping into the pool and hugging Nazza. Unfortunately this caused Nazza to start inhaling water as he was dragged under.

'Spyro - stop - you're - killing - me -'

'Why were you upside down in the pool anyway?' asked Spyro, who had stopped manslaughtering him.

'I was practising my backstroke,' Nazza explained. 'Have you found any keys?'

'Yep, all three.'

'Spyro, there's four.'

'Oh.'

* * *

Several minutes later Spyro found Nazza at the foot of the pegola looking up. 'I found the last of the gems - what are you looking at?' 

'See for yourself,' said Nazza. Spyro looked up, and saw...

No, not Steve Buscemi. (You thought I was gonna say Adam Sandler, didn't you?)

He saw Moneybags. Dead. With bits of marble sticking out of his crushed skull.

'Oh no! He's dead! He's dead and it's all my fau...yes! Moneybags is finally dead!'

'Hmm, how are we going to move the debris out of the way?' Nazza asked. 'After all, it's not every day the roof of a pegola falls down and kills someone.'

'Yeah, it's not every day this sort of thing happens,' said Spyro. 'Which is why we should celebrate, while it's still daylight!' He pulled a bottle of champagne out of nowhere and popped the little cork at the top of the bottle.

'No, we should get rid of all this rubble first,' said Nazza.

'Why?'

'There's a portal in there somewhere.'

'Who cares?'

'And with Moneybags dead, we could take all his money...'

Five minutes later the rubble had cleared and they were $2 richer.

'This is weird,' said Nazza, who stood at the top of what was now a marble pillar of sorts. 'There's a powerpoint here.' He found a cord lying nearby, so he plugged it into the powerpoint. 'Hey! So that's why the portal wasn't on properly! And to think that cheat Moneybags was gonna make us pay so he could flick a switch.'

So Spyro and Nazza partied on through the night, joined by Sparx and on occasion by Hunter and Elora. Hunter and Elora had no idea of the "tragedy" that had just occurred, so they partied harder than ever.

---Spyro and Nazza's Journal---

PAGE 11

-Autumn Plains-

Gems: 400/400

Keys: 4/4

(1) Another Brick in the Wall (Part I)

(2) Another Brick in the Wall (Part II)

(3) Another Brick in the Wall (Part III)

(4) 400 Gems

--THE NEXT MORNING--

Spyro woke up with a very heavy hangover, and gasped as he saw...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You won't be expecting what happens next. I know I'm not.

NB: Sorry about the horizontal rules. I have no idea in hell why doesn't allow the equals sign, those little arrows or the asterisks. So blame that guy who runs for the shoddy formatting.

Did You Know? Yeah I know it's officially called Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage, but the copy I have is called Spyro 2: Gateway to Glimmer. So nyah.


End file.
